Page 44 of Shockproof

“What’s all over my face?”

“Your thoughts.”

“Huh?”

The sigh that leaves me is so heavy I swear it reshuffles the shared playlist floating through the sound system. “The lavender dress was too short. You love my legs-”

“So fuckin’ much, Angel Cake.”

“-but don’t need me almost flashing crotch every time I walk out of a room.”

“Me on a murderous rampage would probably undermine the actual gift I got them.”

“The blue one had too many ruffles. You were looking at me the same way you look at a pastry someone has put too much marshmallow fluff on top of.”

He innocently shrugs his bare shoulders. “It was a lot of fluff.”

“You felt the yellow one was sexy but too attention grabbing – and we both know that isn’t what I want on T’s special day – while the green one looked like something I borrowed out of your ma’s closet which brings me to this one.” I give a casual wave to the waiting gown. “What do you think?”

“That you got mind readin’ powers and forgot to tell me.”

Seeing his bubbly lettering gets me giggling. “Nah, you’d know.”

“How exactly would I know?” he challenges back between chuckles. “Would you call me out for thinkin’ about bendin’ you over all the time?”

“Seriously?” Redness can’t be kept out of my cheeks. “How often do you think about bending me over?”

“Thank you for confirmin’ you indeeddo nothave mind readin’ powers.”

“Nope. Just facial reading ones.” A small pause is followed by me adding. “At least when it comes to you.”

Slater allows a bashful grin to grow prior to pointing. “That dressis a good choice, Angel Cake.”

I warmly smile at him and then the gown.

Terrible taste in attire when left alone to pick something out.

Not too bad when it comes to the assist.

“And I have somethin’ special I want you to wear with it.” My boyfriend gets up to retrieve a small jewelry box from the bedside table; however, before registering the possible contents has any chance to plant itself in my system, he playfully reassures, “You can relax, baby. I’m not gonna propose to you the day of your brother’s engagement shower. That’s tacky. Not tactful.”

“Mmm…” it’s my turn to impishly cock my head, “you’ve been known to be both.”

“When have I ever been tacky?”

“Last year when we went Christmas tree shopping with T and Monte.”

“I wore a sweater.”

“You wore anuglysweater.”

“It was festive.”

“It was aBig Lebowskimonstrosity that had actualbellson the cuffs.”

The man I’m crazy about smiles proudly to himself for a moment.

Further data to add to the reasons why clothes shopping is not an assignment he’s best suited for.

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