Page 57 of Surrender (Angels Halo MC Next Gen)

Berkeley: I can’t wait to see you again.

The time stamp was thirty minutes before, and so far, Elias hadn’t responded. I tried to keep that in consideration, but the fact that he hadn’t blocked her was something I couldn’t help focusing on.

Jealousy pushed in, trying to eat at me, stirring up my crazy. Lynn Berkeley’s draft was already done and ready for her approval. I was supposed to have a meeting with her on Monday to discuss it. Another reason I needed to get my brother to lift his restrictions on letting me return to California. No way I was going to let Elias take that meeting with his kink buddy alone.

Really, everyone should have thanked me for choosing to take out Kovak and not turning my scope sights on my brother. Offing a wannabe power player and a few of his men was less messy than dealing with the family drama that would ensue if I popped Ryan in the head.

Plus, I didn’t want to do that to Wren and Gabe. Butwanting toandhaving toin order to get back to the life I dreamed of were two different things. If Ryan tried to play God with my life again, I wouldn’t hesitate to eliminate the threat to my own happiness.

My crazy knew no bounds.

Something my brother would appreciate since his was just as intense where Nova was concerned. If he were faced with the same decision, we both knew I would be floating in the Hudson. No one came before Nova with him.

Just as no one came before Elias with me.

Dropping my phone into the cupholder, I started the car and put it in gear without bothering to call Elias. My head wasn’t in a safe space to talk to him. My emotions were too close to the surface. I missed him too much. Freaking him out with how needy I was for him, mixed with how bloodthirsty I was for Berkeley, wasn’t something I could stomach.

But knowing she was still texting him began to fester in my mind. I needed to rein it in before I did something stupid.

When I got back to the mansion, I took a shower and made sure my stuff was packed before I checked on Papa. Finding his nurse—a man named Walter, who was dressed in a suit to blend in with the rest of the guards who walked the house and property—outside the home office, I gave the man a nod and knocked on the door to alert Papa to my presence.

Walter had been around for a while, but now he stayed closer to Papa, making sure he didn’t sneak out of the house or cause harm to himself. He was a stoic man in his late thirties. When he was first hired, I followed him for over six weeks to make sure he was trustworthy enough to care for my father. He had a girlfriend in Queens, but they weren’t serious. A son from a previous relationship who lived with his mother in New Jersey. After I watched him visit his mom in a nursing home a few times, I began to trust him a little with Papa’s care.

“You’re up late,” Papa said as he watched me walk toward his desk with an indulgent smile.

Once he’d been released from the hospital, he’d been fairly lucid. Other than a few moments of confusion, he’d been more stable than he had been in a while. Mom and the doctors were both wondering about this change since his specialist had been convinced he had reached the severe cognitive decline stage of his illness. If it weren’t for his agitation toward Ryan, I would have thought he was getting better, not worse.

Leaving him was going to be hard, but I missed Elias so badly. If I could have taken Papa with me, I would have without hesitation, but the sudden change was likely to cause more harm than good.

“Papa, you should be resting,” I chided.

He waved off my concern. “Your mom had to go to the club. I couldn’t just lie around in bed. Work has piled up.”

I gave him a pout. “Fine. But can you at least take a break and come eat cookies with me?”

Pushing back his chair, he stood without another prompt. “I thought we ate them all last night.”

Beaming my delight that he’d remembered, I threaded my arm through his as we walked toward the kitchen. “I picked up more today.”

We sat at the island dunking Oreos and sipping milk without a care in the world. Moments like this were what kept me going. Times when I got to have a taste of normalcy, when I could pretend like I wasn’t a broken monster with no remorse for the six lives I’d taken just hours before, for no other reason than it got me home to Elias sooner.

“You should be back in Creswell Springs,” Papa said, dunking his last cookie in my glass instead of pouring himself more milk. “You have an internship to finish. People who are missing you.” He bumped his shoulder lightly against mine. “Who you’re missing.”

“You needed me,” I told him with a shrug. “The job and the people will still be there when I get back.”

“I’m never not going to need you, Sammy. But like with your brother, I know your heart isn’t here.” He gave me a sad half smile. “There has to be something in the water in Creswell Springs.”

I popped my last cookie into my mouth and chewed. “Technically, Ryan met Nova here. But you’re not wrong. The air is just easier to breathe there. And the water is cleaner.”

He took our empty glasses to the sink and then turned to face me. “Are you happy, Samara? Does he give you the peace you need?”

“He’s…everything,” I told him honestly.

“Then I’ll do everything I can to keep your mom from interfering.” He scrunched up his face. “She means well. It’s just, she doesn’t know how to turn off wanting to protect you.”

I forced a smile. “I know, Papa. She loves me. But she needs to learn to trust me more. I’m not a kid anymore. I need to make a life for myself.”

“Maybe you need to learn to trust yourself a little more too,” he scolded gently.

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