Page 68 of Versions Of Us

My shoulders sag in relief, knowing I’ve dodged the major question about where I’ve been for half a year.

Then my hackles rise when the door swings open. I breathe a heavy sigh as EJ appears and I’m reminded of the last interaction I had with my best friend in this very spot. I shudder to think what he might want from me now. He’d already made it clear that I ruined Kristen’s life and that I don’t deserve the help his father has offered me.

I move to the other end of the bar to serve Old Tommy. He requests his fourth bourbon and coke for the day. It’s only one thirty in the afternoon. Normally I’d tell him impolitely that he’s had enough, but today I hand it over willingly, thankful that his being here has helped me evade EJ. But when I’m done serving, EJ hasn’t moved from his place.

“Can we talk?” he says, a veil of seriousness falling over his features.

My jaw tenses. I glance at Dylan, who gives a small nod of approval. I don’t think I’m ready for anything else he has to say to me, but nonetheless I nod my head in the direction of the side door and wait for EJ to follow me out into the courtyard.

When we reach the open space, I move to lean on the far wall, unable to hide my discomfort. “What’s up?”

“I came here to apologise.” There’s a sincerity in his eyes as he moves toward me.

“No need.” I rub the back of my neck uneasily and ready myself to return to the bar, but he steps in front of me.

“Look, man. I talked to my dad,” he explains.

My breath hitches in my throat. “He told you.”

He told you what he knows of it, at least.

“Yeah. But don’t worry,” he replies. “I haven’t said a word to anyone.”

This may very well be true, but if EJ knows, it’s only a matter of time before the truth makes its way around the tiny community of Cliff Haven one way or another.

Even if it’s only half of the story.

“Do you hate me?” I ask him.

It doesn’t hit me until this moment how terrified I’ve been of the possibility of losing my best friend for good.

“Dude, I could never hate you.” EJ’s eyes meet mine and there’s so much emotion in them I have to look away. “Look, I was pissed at you for leaving. But that was before I understood.”

I squeeze my eyes shut as they begin to sting. I inhale a shaky breath and push the tears down.

I remind myself that he doesn’t really understand.

EJ throws a sympathetic look my way. His pity is torturous, like a knife slicing through an open wound. “I take it you haven’t talked to her?”

It doesn’t take a genius to know he’s referring to Kristen.

“Not about that.”

“How are things going with you guys?” he asks.

I shake my head hopelessly. “I think it’s safe to say she hates me.”

“Only because she doesn’t know the whole story,” EJ argues. “You have to see it from her point of view. We all thought you wanted nothing to do with us.”

“I can’t tell her.”

EJ doesn’t know the whole story either. He only knows what my dad told Steve on the phone that night.

“But you do still love her.”

It’s not a question. EJ knows how I feel about Kristen. I think he knew even before I did that she would always have an impact on my life.

“It doesn’t matter. She deserves better.” I run a hand down my face and turn and pace the courtyard.

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