She stirs beside me momentarily, her head still resting against the passenger door, before a hand comes up to brush the honey blonde waves from her face. A yawn escapes her as she sits upright, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She spots the cherry ripe on the dash, then reaches out to tear open the wrapper. She knows I bought it for her because she knows I don’t like them.
“Where are we?” she asks me, her voice still groggy with sleep.
“About an hour away from Cliff Haven.”
I glance sideways at her, only just making out the way her eyebrows furrow in the dark, her nostrils flaring nervously as she inhales a shaky breath. I hear the distinct sound of a cherry ripe wrapper crinkling and I know her anxiety has hit a new level.
“Are you gonna tell her about me?” she asks softly.
“No. But I think you should.”
God. I sound like my father.
Truthfully, I have no idea what I’m going to say to Kristen when I see her. I don’t believe there are any words in the English language, or any other language for that matter, that could bridge the divide I’ve forged between us.
But one of us needs to find a way to explain the reason I skipped out on her six months ago with zero warning.
And why I’m showing up now with a girl she’s never met.
Chapter 14
KRISTEN
“There you go. One double shot espresso and a blueberry muffin,” I say half-heartedly as I place Liv’s order on the counter, a slight frown pulling at the edges of my mouth.
“Are you okay?” She eyes me dubiously.
I sigh. “Yeah, but I’m kind of jealous. I could really use a coffee.”
“Oh no.” Liv laughs but her tone is sympathetic. “Late night last night, huh? What did you get up to?”
“I spent all night studying for an exam I have this afternoon,” I answer, a feeling of dread forming in the pit of my stomach. It seems that no matter how many times I reread over the subject matter, my brain refuses to absorb any of it.
“Your exam is today? What are you doing here, then?” Liv asks.
“Harper called in sick and Carla was freaking out.” I wave off her concern. “It’s all good. I’ve just been here for a few hours but I’m clocking off soon.”
“Oh, I see,” Liv says knowingly.
Lately Harper seemed to be off sick a lot and although we would never participate in idle gossip, we have our suspicions that she might be pregnant to her long-term boyfriend. Presumptuous of us, I know. But the constant throwing up and gradually expanding midsection are kind of telling.
“Anyway, what’s been happening with you?” I ask, changing the subject in an effort to distract myself from my pre-exam anxiety.
“I’m keeping busy,” she smiles. “We still haven’t found a venue for the wedding.”
I feel my face fall at the mention of Liv and EJ’s upcoming nuptials. It’s not that I’m not immensely happy for my two best friends, because I am. Nothing in this world could compare to the love I have for them. But I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit that it’s been hard. The day Liv asked me to go wedding dress shopping I’d forced a smile so big that by the end of the day my face hurt.
Henley’s absence has left me empty inside and I haven’t been able to find anything to fill that void. I sometimes wonder if I ever will.
And it’s not like I even wanted to get married myself. Just the promise of a future together.
I’ve done my best to carry on with life. I’ve tried new things. I took a painting class with my mum and as it turns out I’m not half bad at it, although I can’t say the same for Mum. My surfing instructor labelled me a liability after I repeatedly got caught in a rip on my first lesson. I’ve been on a couple of dates, but none of them have measured up.
Liv, obviously sensing the sadness that’s begun overtaking me, swiftly switches to a new topic. “Oh my god, you should see this adorable little boy I have for piano lessons. He’s so freaking cute! And not to mention, a total musical genius.”
“Oh really?” I perk up. “He does sound cute. You love teaching music, don’t you?”
It’s evident in the way Liv gushes about her students that she’s found her life’s calling.