Page 32 of Versions Of Us

We were meant to be endgame.

No matter what happens, we’re always gonna find our way back to each other.

I’d believed him that day.

What a fool I had been.

Chapter 12

KRISTEN

“Em, is that you?”

She exhales softly from the other end of the line.

I’ve come to know when it’s her. Become familiar with the ebbing of her sighs, the anxious tremors in her breath and the silences in between them.

“What are your parents like?” Her voice comes out a whisper, as it so often does.

I know I’m not meant to entertain questions from callers and I’m not sure at which point these phone calls with Em started to become about me, but like most people that contact the helpline, all she craves is someone to talk to, someone who will listen.

I completed the induction and the counsellor training. There’s even an entire subject unit in my psychology degree dedicated to the textbook dangers of getting attached to cases, but God, this girl is so lonely it pains me. No one should ever have to go through life feeling this isolated.

So, I answer her question.

Because maybe if I do, she’ll realise that the rest of us don’t actually have it all figured out either.

“My dad isn’t around, but I’m pretty close to my mum. She did the best she could to raise me by herself.”

There’s a pause on her end, as though she’s considering this information, before she finally speaks. “What happened to your dad?”

“He left us when I was young.” I know better than to give her too many details, so I keep my answer vague.

“Do you ever think about him?”

Her question makes me uncomfortable, forces me to look inward to the darkest parts of myself. Of course, I think about him.

Even when I shouldn’t.

“More than I care to admit.” I feel like this is the most honest answer I can give her, without disclosing personal information.

“That’s stupid. Doesn’t sound like he’s worth the time,” she says boldly, her hesitance replaced with confidence.

“Maybe you’re right. But I’ve still missed growing up without a father figure around. And I hate how hard it has been for my mother, having me rely on her for absolutely everything.”

Flashes of Liv and her dad enter my mind, of them dancing at the engagement party under twinkling fairy lights, the way he held his hand out to her. Such a simple yet significant gesture.

Who will give me away on my wedding day, if that day should ever come? I push that thought down before it can overwhelm me with sadness.

Because if I allow myself to deep dive into my insecurities, I won’t be able to stop thinking about the fact that my father is not the only one that abandoned me. Henley has also done a brilliant job of making me feel unwanted and inferior.

“Have you ever stopped to think that maybe he did you a favour?” Em asks. She speaks louder this time, a sarcastic, almost viciousness overtaking her demeanour.

I’m silent for a moment, unable to decipher the undertones in her remarks. I know her actions aren’t really saying anything about me, but rather everything about the broken relationship she must have with her own father.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me about your dad, Em?” I ask gently.

I’ve learnt by now that being too direct with Em will earn me nothing but a few curse words and a dial tone.

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