Page 49 of Versions Of Us

“You still come here.” It isn’t a question.

“Sometimes,” I admit quietly.

“There are so many memories here,” he says, running a hand through his hair. I feel his gaze on me, but I don’t dare look at him. “Good ones.”

“And not so good ones,” I counter.

I see him give a subtle nod in my periphery. He knows just as well as I do that of all the moments we’ve shared in this very spot, not all of them have been happy. Sometimes with passion came volatility. We’ve had hard times, although none of those moments had ever come close to being as difficult as the one we’ve found ourselves in right now.

“I prefer to focus on the good ones.” He slides his palms down his thighs and pulls his knees into his chest, closing himself off to me.

I turn to him and something in the way he looks at me makes it easy to want to remember only those good moments, to block out all of the bad. I’m shaken by how much I long to wrap my arms around him, to have him hold me back.

Then I remember what got us into this mess and I’m struck with the urge to punch him.

“Why did you leave me, Alex?” I whisper, my eyebrows pulling down in a frown.

His chest rises with a heavy breath. “It’s complicated.”

His response only fuels my anger. “So uncomplicate it,” I shout, throwing my arms up in frustration, my voice carrying across the river.

I really do want to understand why he decided to leave me, even though knowing could kill me.

I inhale, hoping to calm myself down and then I add, softer this time, “There has to be a reason you left me right after asking me to move in with you.”

He raises his gaze to mine, and I’m met with eyes full of sorrow, a kaleidoscope of blue. “Kristen, I never meant to hurt you. If I could take it all back, I would.”

“You haven’t answered my question.”

He sighs and then draws his knees in closer to his chest, like a little boy being scolded by a school teacher. He’s withdrawing himself from this conversation.

From me.

I lose my last shred of patience.

“You know, after my dad left us and I saw how distraught my mother was, I made a vow to myself that I would never let a guy break my heart. Sure, maybe it would bleed a little. Get a few cracks. But I’d never let anyone tear it wide open.”

He searches my face, his breath quickening as my eyes begin to well. I blink and a lone tear breaks free, tracking its way down my cheek.

I swallow, swiftly wiping it away as I push my emotions down. “But you did it, Alex. You broke my heart.”

Chapter 21

HENLEY

Kristen and I were never inseparable in the beginning. But though our love was chaotic, it was also unwavering. We’d ended things more times than I could count. We’d seen other people, but we always wound up right back in each other’s arms. I don’t know how to love anybody else the way I know I love Kristen Riley.

And that kills me because I know now without any doubt in my mind that I can’t fix this.

It’s been three days since I saw her at the river.

Three days since I’d witnessed firsthand the pain that I inflicted upon her.

Three days since the last flicker of hope I held onto faded to black.

Deep down, I’ve known it’s been over between us for good since the day I left. I know what a fool I’ve been for even entertaining the possibility that we could ever move past this. That there was ever a chance in hell that she’d forgive me for the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

Because I am a mess.

---