Page 82 of Dreaming About Forever

A tingling behind Alicia’s nose said tears were on their way. “I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

“I’m sorry, but–”

“I know. A lot of people’s jobs depend on this tour. I haven’t forgotten that. It’s just…after.”

“You’re thinking about stepping down?” Lillian asked quietly.

“Maybe. A lot could change in a year. Jordan might decide he doesn’t want to spend the year on tour. It’s a lot different from what people expect, and it’s a lot to ask of him to follow me around.”

“He’ll do it,” Lillian said. “You know it. He loves you. I can hear it in his voice on the conference calls we’ve had. I still remember the look on his face when he saw you in that first video call. I think he knew then that you were different. He cared about you before he even knew you.”

Alicia bit her lips between her teeth, remembering the first time she’d heard him speak. He’d asked if she was okay when everyone else around her hadn’t noticed she was sinking into a dark pit with no way out.

“Thank you. For everything you do. I appreciate you more than you know, and even if I step back from events, I don’t want to lose you.”

Lillian chuckled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re the best. I need to go see if Vicci and Caroline are okay.” As soon as she said the words, Alicia swayed on her feet. When was the last time she’d had water?

“I hope everything is okay. Keep me posted.”

Alicia pocketed her phone and stepped back into the waiting room.

Vicci closed the Bible in front of her and rubbed her eyes. “Hey, everything okay? You were gone for a while.”

“Sure. Just had a lot to talk over with Lillian.” She took the seat across from Vicci and Caroline. “I think I’m going to take a trip to the vending machine. Anyone want some water?”

“I’ll go,” Caroline said as she reached both hands above her head. “I need to stretch my legs. What do you want, Mom?”

A faint buzzing drowned out everything in the hospital. The soft tap of sneakers walking down the hallways, the ding of the elevator–all of it filtered through a fog as if Alicia were listening from under water.

Jordan was still in his dad’s room. He’d just woken up from the surgery, and the family had only been allowed one person to see him at a time.

Then, there were a few facial bones broken around his eye that would need reconstruction later, or something like that. Little pieces of what the doctors had told them were slipping in and out of her grasp.

A hand rubbed over Alicia’s back. “You okay, sweetie?” Vicci asked.

Alicia lifted her head from her hands. The edges of her vision danced and swirled. “My blood sugar is low.”

Vicci stood. “What do you need?”

The answer was just out of reach. She knew everything about how to manage her diabetes, but the pieces of the puzzle were scrambling. “I don’t know.”

Her tongue tingled in her mouth, and her fingers followed suit.

“Alicia, hon, I need you to tell me what you need. Medicine? Food? Water?”

The brightly lit Christmas tree in the corner of the waiting room spun, mixing with the garland and lights around the chairs. “I don’t know.”

She should know. When did she take insulin? When did she eat?

Caroline was on her knees in front of Alicia, cradling both sides of her face and lifting her head. “Does Jordan know what you need?”

Jordan. She reached for that word and held onto it like a lifeline. “Yes.”

Caroline stood and darted down the hallway just as a cold sweat beaded on the back of Alicia’s neck. Closing her eyes, she tried to remember the last time she ate.

“Glucose tablets,” she whispered. “In my purse.” She always carried them in case of emergencies.

---