Page 16 of Downfall

His tongue begins a torturous journey—up my jaw to the sensitive spot below my ear, stopping to suck and probably leave a mark, down my neck and across my collarbone to the hollow at the base of my throat, dipping his tongue there before continuing down between my breasts. His lips capture a nipple, sucking hard and nipping with his teeth, then he moves to the other nipple to give it the same treatment.

I’m so on edge, ready to combust, and all I can do is take everything he gives, a panting mess in his lap.

The slow, measured thrusts feel amazing, euphoric, but I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to tell me something. He’s never treated me this gently before, taken his time to worship me and keep me on edge like this might be his last chance. It’s intimate. It feels like goodbye, and the uncertainty I’ve been feeling since he plunged into me turns to regret.

He’s leaving. Once again, I’m not enough. And I fucking knew this would happen.

But if this is the last time I get to have him, I’m taking everything.

The couch sinks under my knees as I lift my ass off Kolson’s thighs, then drop down hard. He groans, but tries again to control my movements with his hold on my wrists and hip, but I’m determined. I will push us to ecstasy one last time, and I will do it on my terms.

Over and over again, I lift and drop, grinding my clit forward into Kolson’s pelvis. My eyes close, right on the edge of bliss, when Kolson lets go of my wrists, choosing instead to grab my hips, guiding me faster, chasing his own release.

“Yes, demon. Fuck me. Harder!” I scream.

He growls low in his throat, thrusting his hips up to meet my own, and we both explode. Our foreheads come together as we ride out our climax, catching our breath.

Once my heart rate has returned to normal, I stand, uncaring that our combined release is sliding down my thighs, and make my way to the bathroom.

Stopping at the doorway, I turn, taking in Kolson’s perfect form on the couch, the way his chest rises and falls, his head lying back with his eyes closed. His spent cock is lying limply, and even that is beautiful.

I consider kicking him out, not giving him a chance to end things. But I need him to do it. I need him to leave, to give me a reason, so I will have the reminder of why I don't do this. Why love is off the table for me.

So I keep my mouth shut and walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I allow myself a moment to breathe as I clean myself up, calming myself before I have to go back out there and face the inevitable.

Finally, feeling a small amount of calm, I leave the peace of my bathroom in search of clothes. I cannot have my heart broken naked. As I step into my bedroom, Kolson is there, fully clothed, but clearly in need of the bathroom. He stops me with an arm around my waist as I try to move past him, kissing me on the temple before moving on again.

For a moment, I'm frozen, confusion, regret, and the desire to fight for this, for us, warring in my mind.

I shake it off, knowing he’s leaving no matter what I say. I rub my chest on the way to my dresser, trying to soothe the ache that’s already forming.

You haven’t even known him for a week! Pull yourself together, Abby!

I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top over a matching lace bralette and panty set. I am already planning my pity party for tonight—rocky road and a rewatch of Twilight, here I come—but I can at least try to feel a little good about myself. Even if it’s just matching underwear.

When Kolson emerges from the bathroom, I am sitting on the couch, back against an armrest with my feet sprawled in front of me across the cushions, scrolling a delivery app for my ice cream and any other snacks I may need to get through tonight.

“Can we talk?” And here it comes.

“Sure. What’s up?” I ask as casually as I can muster, my brown eyes meeting his green ones with a confidence I don’t feel.

I’m fine. I’m cool. I’m definitely not falling for you aftertwodays.

Kolson sits down on the opposite end of the couch near my feet, folding one leg in front of him so he can face me. I brace myself forthe talk.

“Abby—”

“You don’t have to say it, Kolson. No strings attached, right? Let’s not make this awkward,” I cut him off before he has a chance to put words to the feeling in my chest, feeling more and more hollow with every word out of my mouth. “It’s not like this was meant to be forever or something,” I force a laugh from my throat, but it feels like sandpaper and sounds flimsy even to my own ears.

“You’re perfect. I’m just…” he trails off, but doesn’t give me a chance to object before he starts again. “This weekend was incredible, the best I’ve had in a long time. Thank you, siren. I’ll just go.”

He gives me a tight-lipped smile before heading toward the door, and I just stare after him, unable to move or say anything more. My heart is crumbling, but it’s too soon for that. I’m just being dramatic. It was just great sex. Right?

Opening the door, he pauses on the threshold, seemingly debating something, then subtly shakes his head before shutting the door behind him, leaving me.

An hour later, I have my ice cream, Edward is showing Bella his sparkly skin, and I am well on my way to believing my own lie that everything is right in my world.

Chapter 13

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