Page 58 of Betting on You

She continued trying to sell me with, “We thought it’d be nice to see in October, when the leaves are starting to turn. Just a little three-day getaway. What do you think?”

I think I might bawl like a toddler, right here and right now.

I’d known this was all possible, Scott’s dropping anchor in our lives, but suddenly everything was happening too fast.

Out of nowhere, another awful thought came at me. If Scott put down roots, would that serve to further oust my father from my life? Would he see it as a reason to become even more absentee than he already was?

“Um.” I tried for a smile and nodded. Like, a lot. Nodded as if my head might fall off my neck because it was so untethered.“I mean, it sounds amazing, but I think I have to work. You guys should totally go, though.”

I saw my mom’s face fall. It’d always just been an expression—“her face fell”—until that moment. Her wide smile dropped into a weak horizonal line, and the squint of her eyes went away, leaving her wide-eyed with disappointed surprise. Her voice was thick when she said, “Surely you can get someone to work for you.”

“They’re actually kind of short-staffed,” I lied, hating myself but hating Scott more. “But I can check.”

“I’d love to teach you to ski,” Scott said, smiling. “If you want to learn, that is.”

I looked at my mom. SheknewI’d wanted to learn when I was little, and it felt like a betrayal that she’d obviously told him. I curled my fingers into balls and said, “Yeah, um, I’d love to, but I don’t think it’s probably going to work this time.”

“Come on, Bay,” he said, tilting his head and talking to me like we were buddies. “It’ll be epic, I promise. Just blow off work—you’ll never hear me say that again—and come with us.”

Us.I was getting so damn sick of him referring to himself and my mother as theus, when my mother and I were theusand he was just the dude who wouldn’t go away. I breathed in through my nose and said, “Maybe next time.”

My mom said, “Bailey, I don’t think—”

“I don’t want to go, okay?”I hadn’t meant to, but I snapped at her. I didn’t know where it came from, but I also didn’t want to take it back, either. I pressed my lips together before saying, “I have to go study.”

I went into my room and closed my door, feeling like garbage. For yelling at my mom, for disappointing them about the trip, and mostly for the inescapable fact that things were definitely progressing with Scott and pretty soon his presence in our life would be constant.

I couldfeelit now.

I blinked back tears—stupid, immature tears—and wondered when life would stop changing up on me.

I flopped down onto my bed and turned on the TV with the remote.

“Bailey.” My mom knocked on my door like I knew she would, because we weren’t the kind of people who could just let it lie. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.” She came in, and I knew she was going to make me. I justknewshe was going to make me vacation with Scott, and I didn’t know what to do. It surely wasn’t that big a deal—a weekend away—but I remembered what Charlie said the first time we talked on the phone.

He’s only going to advance and take more space.

“Are you okay?” She closed the door behind her, came over, and sat down on the edge of my bed. “It’s not like you to snap like that.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning that part of it. I looked at her face—the blue eyes, the pale eyebrows, the mouth that had said everything I’d ever needed to hear for the whole of my life—and I felt desperate. It was so babyish, but I felt a desperation to hold tight to ourus.

“I don’t get it, Bay,” she said, reaching out to run a hand over myhair. “He was so excited when he got the idea because he wants to get to know you better. He thought it could be a relaxed way to just have some fun together.”

“I know,” I said, trying to come up with words that didn’t make things worse between her and me. “But I just don’t feel ready to go on avacationwith him yet.”

“It’s not like that,” my mom said, crossing her arms. She was wearing herI’m the problemT-shirt, the one she’d bought the day afterMidnightscame out. “It’s just a casual, fun weekend where we get out of town. No bigs.”

“Just the three of us?” I asked, bracing myself for the mention of a daughter.

“Well,” she said, pursing her lips. “I suppose if you wanted to take Nekesa, that would be okay.”

“Really?” She’d obviously misunderstood what I was asking, but God, if I could take Nekesa, that might make it okay. She and I could ditch them and have fun in Colorado, and even when we were all together, it wouldn’t feel as much like a forced family event. “I could?”

She shrugged, and I felt a little guilty that she was having to make concessions. “I don’t see why not. The condo has two bedrooms and a pullout sofa in the living room, so as long as she doesn’t mind the couch, I think it’d be fine.”

“Wow.” I pushed my hair out of my face, relief flooding through me. “That will make it so much, um, I mean, a little bit less…”

---