Page 103 of Betting on You

But as we flew over the interstate, I felt better than I had the night before because I now had a solid plan.

After lying wide awake forhourson that pullout sofa, thinking about my feelings for Charlie and obsessing about why they were terrible, the answer came to me.

It didn’t matter.

It didn’t. Who cared if I had a few new-and-confusing feelings for Charlie?

I’d gotten all tied up in the feelings themselves—What do they mean? Are they real? How can we be friends when I am suddenly crushing on him so hard?—before realizing that it wasn’taboutthe feelings themselves.

It was about what I did with them.

And I wasn’t going to doanythingwith them.

Because I knew Charlie didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about him. I knew helikedme, I was pretty sure he had fun hanging out with me, and I was absolutely certain he enjoyed kissing me.

Gawwwwwwwd, the way he kissed.

But I’d never seen his face change when he looked at me the way it’d changed when he saw Becca at that party. And after the rejection I’d felt when Zack moved on after our breakup, I wasn’t willing to settle for “pretty sure” and “liked.”

I wasn’t willing to settle at all.

So I was going to take what I’d learned from my parents—the fact that feelings eventually faded, especially when new feelings were introduced—and ensure a change of heart.

“So I have an idea,” I said when we entered Lancaster County and I knew we’d be home in an hour.

“Uh-oh,” Charlie said, popping a few orange TUMS into his mouth.

“No uh-oh,” I argued. “No uh-oh at all. I was just thinking that now that the trip is over, it might be a good time for each of us to actually date in real life.”

When I said the words, I realized that—holy shit—Imeantit. Not just as a Charlie-Bailey diffuser, but maybe it was time for me to try to move on from Zack.

“What?” he said, his voice tight as he glanced over at me, a wrinkle between his eyebrows.

“Not each other,” I quickly added, noting the look of horror on his face. “But… people.”

He rolled his eyes and looked back at the road. “Really, Glasses?”

“You said Eli wanted to ask me out, and I have a friend—Dana—who is gorgeous and smart and funny.” I tried sounding nonchalant as I said, “We should double-date it up.”

“First of all, please never say things like ‘double-date it up,’?” he said, chewing his antacid.

“Agreed. I regretted it the second it exited my mouth.”

“Second of all, what the fuck?”

Charlie looked irritated, which felt kind of good.Is he hurt by the thought of me going out with someone else?Was he mad that I was suggesting it after the weekend we’d just shared? I aimed for super chill when I casually asked, “What the fuck what?”

“What the fuckwhat? You have a gorgeous, smart, funny friend, and this is the first time you’re mentioning her?” His eyes stayed on the road, but he looked amused as he said, “You’ve been holding out on me.”

Heat flooded my face—hell, my entire body—and I was embarrassed by how quickly I’d fallen into wishful thinking. I ignored the unwelcome feeling in the pit of my stomach and said, “I guess I didn’t know you were looking.”

He did look at me then, but his expression was unreadable. “I guess I didn’t either.”

God, how was it possible that I missed my fake boyfriend already?

“So let’s set it up, then,” I said, remembering that forcing this was the best way to put our friendship back on solid ground, without any weird emotional tie-ups.

“Let’s,” he said. “We should do something stupid, like bowling.”

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