Page 9 of A Man On A Mission

I told him that I wouldn’t and that everything was fine, but it felt weird to lie. On paper it was easy to tell the truth. If I did get a reaction that I didn’t want, it would be a few days, if not a week until I would hear about it. Now, in person, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to feel about him. I didn’t know how to act in his presence.

Since I had a few things work-related that I had to do, Frank said that he had to take care of a few things as well. I asked him about it, but he was weird and didn’t want to talk about it. It was moments like these, after great intimate moments that we were together, that made me feel weird around him. I didn’t understand what we were doing together and where this was supposed to go. Our letters were now actions and although we said that we would meet later that night, I didn’t know if that was true or not.

I went about my way and almost got to work, before Ashley was calling me and I knew exactly what she wanted. She wanted information on Frank and what happened last night. I was going to tell her too. I was ready to burst with it all and besides, it was about time that I told her.

8

Frank

The dream didn’t feel like just a dream, it felt like an omen. I hadn’t thought about what happened in Chalk River until recently. I swear emotions coming up with Amber were making the rest of me feel so raw. I didn’t know what to do, how to act. I did tell her that it had something to do with what I did in the military. Amber seemed to accept that; I was broken because of what the military made me do.

I wasn’t broken though. I just didn’t sleep all that well. I had too much on my mind most of the time to think about why I still had nightmares, but sometimes when I stopped, they came back up. When I was stressed out, like meeting a woman that I was in love with, dreams tended to come out more.

Since I hadn’t talked to anyone from my life in a few days, I called Jesse, my roommate and fellow soldier, asking him how things were going there.

“Why don’t you tell me how it is going there, Frank? Was she everything that you thought she’d be, or was it more of a catfish situation and you had to make a run for it? If that is the case, I can understand why it took so long to tell me about it.”

I sighed and told him that he was wrong, we’d had a great time, and she was everything that I had thought she’d be, and more. I was not disappointed in the least bit, that was for sure. “She’s perfect.” It was all I could get out. She was perfect. That’s exactly how I felt about her. Perfect.

“I’m glad, Frank. I have some bad news to tell you though. Do you want it now or later?”

I didn’t want any bad news; it could be anything. I knew that I had to hear it though, because the only other option was to not know and that was worse. “What?”

Jesse asked me if I remembered Jerome. I, of course, did, and he knew that I did, but I guess that was his way of bringing up someone from our past that neither one of us had thought about in a long while. We’d both had missions with Jerome and while I can’t say that I liked him all that well, he was still a fellow soldier. That meant something.

“Yeah, what about him?”

“He’s dead.” The words came out as fact, and it took me a minute for them to get to me. I heard his words, but was he for real? He was my age, wasn’t into anything that should get him killed. He was in great shape. How had he died? I asked as much, and Jesse said that he wasn’t sure. It looked like he had been murdered. I didn’t know what to say. He had said bad news, but that was not at all what I would have thought. Who would want to do such a thing to Jerome? He was a good man and didn’t deserve it.

“Fuck,” was all I could manage to get out.

“Yeah, I know.”

“What about Anne and his son, Jeffrey?”

There was a silence on the other side of the phone, and I was more upset about the silence than I was the bad news that he was bringing me.

“Tell me.”

“They are saying it’s either a murder/suicide, which you know is crap, or there was a B&E. I don’t know what really happened, but they are all dead.”

Another pause and I didn’t know what to say. The bad news was worse than I thought it would be. Really, what was I supposed to say to that? There were no words…

“So, tell me what is going on there? You decided when you are coming back or what? You know that I don’t want Derrick as my partner. If we go anywhere, I’m teamed up with him and I have to say that I am not too happy about it.”

“Did a little boating.”

“Yeah, that sounds very domestic. Just remember you can’t stay gone forever. You have only a short time left before you retire. Remember that.”

I told him that I hadn’t forgotten anything. I knew that I said I was a lifer, and I was still, but being around Amber, being with her at night, lying next to her and acting like a normal civilian, that gave me more pleasure and peace than much of anything else had in a very long time. Why wasn’t that enough?

“It’s not so bad though, living a normal life.”

He scoffed and told me that what I found there was something good between her thighs to have me talking like that. I didn’t know if that was true or not, it was good, but we had more than that between us, right? I hoped so. I didn’t know why I was questioning everything, but now I was.

“Don’t let me get in your head, Frank. You deserve to be happy. I’ve read those letters enough that I am in love with her. If you don’t want her, send her my way.”

I scowled at him and that made him laugh. He clicked his tongue. “I never thought I would hear you this way. It’s different. When are you bringing her back here so that I can meet her?”

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