Page 89 of Knock Knock

“We’re adults,” Maddox blurted. “You never got your chords struck when we were kids, the same as Karen?”

Mom wept, and I kneed my brother in the thigh. I understood where he was coming from, felt the same way, but I’d never deny my mom the chance to try. Again.

Maddox glared at me before sinking back against the couch, ready to listen, but not promising any sort of reaction one way or another. I didn’t want to be here, listening to our mom come to the realization that she was shitty. I wanted to be out on Nate’s boat, drinking piña coladas and soaking up the sun with my besby daredevil. But Nate was with Evan. Because Patrick Harris had someone beat up his dad, and Evan, for once, felt like he had some control over his life.

“You are adults,” Mom said. “And I’m supposed to be an adult. I’m going to get some help.”

“Help?” I asked.

“I’m going to help,” Andrea said. “Help her get sober and help her cope with why she drinks.”

Maddox and I looked at each other, and for the first time, maybe we felt like shit for judging our mom. Did she have trauma? Obviously she did, including the times my dad left and treated her horribly. When I looked at him, I realized that was partly why he came back and stayed back. He was making up for his own mistakes. Not solely protecting us from her, but helping to heal her, showing her she could trust him, and proving to her he was better now. Better for her and better for their marriage.

I didn’t really know much about the things our mom went through, but she used wine and pills to numb something, so I became proud of her for wanting to give the sober thing another go. Maybe the right way, this time.

“Are you even qualified for that?” I asked Andrea.

“No, not in any legal sense. But I’ve been a sober companion for others before, and it’s better than nothing.” Andrea as the park psychologist? Yeah, that fit. She was the best woman for the job.

“I’m proud of how the two of you have turned out,” Mom said. “Despite everything I put you through.”

“We,” Dad added.

“We. And now you’re adults, helping such a lovely girl like Karen, and… I’m just… it’s time for me to keep you in my life. It’s time for me to put you first. After her video…” Mom sighed. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it a million times before, but I’m going to work hard to prove to you that I mean it this time.”

Skeptical, but I hugged her anyway. I didn’t trust my mom, but I trusted Andrea. If anyone could be in her corner and help her from a place of goodness, it was her. With Dad at her back.

Maddox didn’t say anything, but he let Mom kiss his cheek before he walked out to wait for me. I didn’t have much to say to her. I wanted to hope, but I kept it realistic.

The only thing I could say was, “Stay away from Evan’s dad. Don’t let me catch you there again.”

“I promise,” she said. “I promise. No more.”

Not knowing if it was an empty promise or not, I gave my dad a nod and went outside to find my brother.

“Come on,” he said, already in his truck. “Gotta talk to you about something.”

“Ominous.” I squinted at him, climbing into the passenger seat.

“At least I didn’t get the word hate tattooed on my fist.”

“It says NATE!”

* * *

We didn’t talkabout Mom on the drive. There wasn’t really anything to say about it other than to ask if she meant it, so we left it at that and moved on. Then I got distracted by baby cows when we got to Pete’s farm, and my mood drastically improved. Nate and Devon were already here, waiting for us to show up for some chat.

“What’re we doing here?” I asked while a calf sucked on my fingers, getting them all drooly. Nate sat on the barn floor with a chicken on his lap, petting it like it was a teacup pup.

Then our brothers stood before us, side by side, united in some front that stressed them out.

“Oh my god. Are you getting second married?” I guessed. “More dead trees?”

“No,” Devon barked.

“Vow renewal is very popular these days,” Nate added. Gnat flopped his head on his lap with the chicken.

“No more vows,” Maddox said. “Ever.”

---