Page 64 of Knock Knock

“How cheap?”

“Ninety bucks, preferably.”

Devon scoffed. “In your dreams. What do you need a fridge for? There’s one in there.”

Yeah, but it wasn’t gonna fill a glass with iceandwaterfromthe doorand make Xavi’s eyes light up. “Remember when you were an asshole and wanted to provide for Madd?”

He groaned, hating on himself for a quick sec. “Yeah. Don’t do that. One hundred percent would not recommend.”

“Well, I might have the dumbass gene, but not nearly as bad as you.” He shoved me. “I want to get Xavi a fridge. Or at least help him get one. He has dreams, Devon.”

“A fridge is a dream?”

“Yes! Stop being a dick. How do I get a fridge?”

The shop wasn’t steady enough to give us a level of financial security that allowed for anything more than a business credit card we used to buy parts. Most of the money we made went back into the shop, and just a little in our pockets. So, buying a fridge would have to be strategic, especially because rent was about to become an additional expense we didn’t really need but would figure out.

“There’s that scratch and dent place in Redding,” Devon said. “Never been there, but I think Harris has something to do with it.”

I cringed. “Patrick Harris? That yellow aviator-wearing motherfucker?”

Devon nodded. “Yeah. I think he uses it to launder money or some shit. Has a deal with the owner. You have a smoke?”

Had one in my pocket. Hadn’t smoked in days. Craved one every now and then, but not smelling like an ashtray while Xavi kissed me was a good motivator. Oh god, the way he kissed me. On my way out of the shop earlier, Xavi had grabbed the back of my t-shirt, spun me around, and kissed me with his whole body. Lips on mine, chests together, legs pressed up tight, and his hands everywhere. The guy didn’t peck. He made every kiss a living thing that flushed my cheeks and filled my dick with blood. Really got the adrenaline pumping, and I found myself more motivated and more productive because of it. Xavi had always been good for me; he was just good in even more ways now.

I handed my weathered pack to Devon and watched him take seven attempts at shaking the almost dead lighter to a spark. “You quit?”

“I hope so.”

Devon grinned around the filter. “This is real, isn’t it? You’re all in love and shit.”

If I had asked Devon that during the beginning of their relationship, he would have punched me, called me a dick, and then yelled at me about how love was a farce, but he didn’t know how to stop it. Not me. I owned that shit.

“Yep. Like that stupid kind of love that makes you think weird things and smile all the time. Even when I think I’m not good enough to be anything more than his best friend, I remember that it’s Xavi, and that dumbass loves me anyway. He calls me baby.”

Devon laughed, walking across the yard and up the front steps of the porch. “It’s not weird? The shift from friends to boyfriends?”

I had nothing to compare it to since I’d never been in love before. I had no idea if the kind of love I felt was the same kind of love Devon felt for Maddox, but I didn’t think it mattered. I loved Xavi in the same way I had always loved him, but it had deepened, became more intimate, and felt romantic where it never had before.

It was a love that brought hope because it tethered itself to our bond and cast out like a goddamn fishing net, catching feels and dreams and reeling them in for the both of us instead of us as individuals. Our lives were connected before. We were living the same life on the same trajectory, but instead of walking side by side, we were now piggybacking each other. Our paths had merged and stopped at the same ending because we wereonein a way that we hadn’t been previously.

“I think everything we do is a bit weird. Even our friendship was weird, so my progress report on weirdness is a bit skewed.” I followed him to the porch. “But it doesn’t feel weird. It feels right. Because I don’t have to pretend to be anyone other than who I am with him, and isn’t that what love is supposed to be all about?”

Devon looked at me, standing in the doorway with his cigarette. He rolled his eyes because I just described love better than he ever could. “So, you’re just like friends with benefits?” He grinned, trying to rile me.

“The best benefits. Wanna hear about the night we fucked on this lawn and got—”

“No. You’re cut off from sex stories.” He tossed the butt and walked inside. “Proud of you for just fucking going for it, though. Took ya a year, but whatever. Sawyers are opportunists, but we’re dumb, too.”

“You’re dumb. I’m just slow.” I looked around. “Hesitant, I mean. Fuck, is that yours?” I walked into the living room that no longer had a couch, picking up a hose nozzle that had no business being there.

“Yeah. Was. Attaches to a power washer.” He tried to grab it from me. “I’ve been looking for that.”

I yanked it away. “Mine. I am going to power wash the fuck out of this trailer.” Nothing was more satisfying than power washing and weed whacking. “You have any string?”

“String?” Devon asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Karen is going to teach me how to braid string to make Xavi a new bracelet.”

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