Page 30 of Knock Knock

“Resonates.”

“No. Rumbles. Hard. In my gut and my chest and makes me vibrate because nothing has ever sounded more right. And all this time, I figured we’d be that person for each other, and then I freaked out a bit when you said you wanted to move forward in life and start thinking about a future and kids and all that bullshit.”

“Amaybekid that is more of amehkid who probably won’t happen because I don’t really want themehkid. I just wanna be someone’s role model because of the shit I’ve been through. You know?”

He grinned.

“But in my head, while I was saying all that, it was you I pictured doing it all with. And since we had the threesome thing going on, I figured we’d do it together with someone else, too. Then weird things started happening, and I’ll call it jealousy even though it was more like… wait, is there another word for it? Okay then, jealousy, but I just never thought the sexy times could be added in there with just us, you know?”

“And now they can?” Nate asked. “The sexy things?”

I leaned back in my chair, spread my legs, and let him get a good look at the crotch of my sweatshorts. “You’re my best friend, and now you make me hard. I trust you more than I trust anyone, and I have so much confidence in our bond that I don’t even think this can fuck it up. Maybe I’m dumb, but being dumb gives me the balls to want to try shit with you.”

“Are we casually talking about sex while drinking minty gum coffee?”

“My coffee ain’t minty.”

Nate laughed. “Really?” He narrowed his eyes at me, and then his lips pursed when he figured out his role. “Oh, fuck no, Xavi! No!”

I laughed. “Too late. You cast yourself in this role when you accused me of not caring about our friendship.”

He groaned and scrubbed his hands down his face. “I don’t want to have to be the responsible one for this. Switch roles with me.”

“Nope. You got mad at me, so this is your punishment. You have to think while I just get to act.” I smirked at him. “Fucking sucks being the responsible one, doesn’t it? This is payback for the time you made me be the mature one at that beach rave thing. You had the time of your life and I had to follow you around and carry your purse.”

“It was a fanny pack, and it had all my important things in it.”

It had a spare pair of underwear in case he had any mishaps, a sandy tube of ChapStick because his lips had been sunburned at the time, and a prepaid phone that was dead when we got there. Pretty sure he could have survived without all that, but he wouldn’t let me unclip that fanny pack from my waist, and to be honest, I rocked it.

“Okay, get on with the responsible questions, Nate. Think one up while I fill our coffees.” I grabbed his cup and headed inside.

I was freaking out a bit. This thing for Nate started because of a sex arrangement we had going on, and I never thought he’d be the one to capture my attention more than the girl. It brought me back to my ‘dab’ll do ya, sliding scale gay’ chat with Maddox, and I wondered if sexualities just morphed depending on current needs, vibes, and situations. Nate had been in my life since we werelittlebebes, and never, not even once, had I looked at him sexually.

Wait. Maybe once.

“Hey, Nate!” I shouted, pouring coffee into our mugs. There wasn’t enough left for two whole cups, so I gave myself more and filled his with extra hot water that he wouldn’t notice because his mouth was minty anyway. “Remember that drunk game of truth or dare we played with a bunch of fuckups in high school?”

“The one where Denis shitstain Donaldson dared me to lick your sack?” he shouted back.

“And you did it,” I laughed. “And my dick got hard from it.”

“That’s because you were sixteen and the way your jeans rubbed made your dick hard.”

True. A light breeze could have gotten me off back then. Actually did one time when we were on a boat, and I had to wear cum-slicked swim shorts for a whole hour before I could jump in the ocean and rinse them out. A fanny pack of spare underwear would have been nice that day.

I took the coffees outside, slipped on some shades now that the sun was glaring at us, and handed him his. “Did you think of a responsible question?”

“More of a statement,” he said, sipping the coffee, hiding his eyes behind his own shades. He looked at his mug, frowned, and then carried on. “We live together, work together, do everything together, and sometimes even sleep together. If shit gets awkward, our whole lives will be awkward. Plus, our brothers are married, so shit’s risky, right?”

Fair point.“So, let’s make a deal. No more running. No more being awkward. No more lying because we’re afraid of shit. Or afraid of ourselves, more like. We figure things out as we go, and we never let it ruin what we already have. More like a build onto what we’ve got type thing, you know?”

“What exactly is it we’re figuring out, Xav?” He laughed. “Sexy things or emotional things?”

I grinned into my non-watered-down coffee, not having a clear answer to that, but also not being too afraid of the implications of figuring it all out.All the things.

“Just think of me as your cellmate. You’re doing twenty-five-to-life with me, and since we’re locked up together, we might as well fuck. Boom. Simple.”

Nate choked on his shitty coffee. “What? You’re just gonna drop a fuck into this conversation like you have any idea what you’re talking about?”

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