Page 38 of Knock Knock

“Not about that,” Nate said, swiping his thumb over my bottom lip. “There’s a June bug on your shoulder.”

“Ah!” I screamed. I freaked out so hard I threw my shirt at his face, sacrificed him to the June bugs, and ran inside, skimming my hands all over myself to make sure none were on me or in my hair. Ain’t nothing worse than a June bug.

When I calmed down, Maddox looked at me with a small smirk, and I shook my head at them both. “Never knew you two had it in you to be that subtle… or smart.”

Devon laughed and Maddox smacked his ass.

CHAPTER13

NATE

Leaving Friday night dinner,I stood on the front lawn of Seth and Naomi’s trailer, waiting for Xavi and Maddox. Garron Park was quiet, not a whole lot going on for a Friday night, but the place felt… homey. I hated to admit it, but I almost missed it.

We grew up with these people, on these dirt paths and front lawns. Sure, a lot of bad shit happened here, and I understood why Maddox and Devon didn’t want to live on Lot 62 anymore, but I always kind of enjoyed the trailer park life. It was a community. One that came together during Maddox’s four-month stint in the clink, and one that helped patch us up all our lives.

Andrea lived here, Mary, the lady who took care of our mom, lived here, and I suddenly felt like a piece of shit for not visiting her since Mom got put away. Gina and her baked goods still lived here, and shit, I missed those.

“Never seen you think so hard,” Devon said, lighting a cigarette and handing me the pack. “What’s on your mind?”

Gum. Because Xavi wasn’t standing next to me to shove it in my face. I lit a smoke and stepped out to the edge of the lawn, looking up and down the gravel and dirt path, riddled with weeds and potholes.

“Kinda miss this place,” I told Devon, realizing my smoke never lit. I tried again, my lighter barely sparking.

Devon lit it for me. “The park?”

“Yeah. It’s always been home, you know?” Shit, now I sounded like Xavi. “And I live in a storage room. This seems better. Like an upgrade, even though we worked so hard to get out of here.”

“Maddox hates people in general, so our place is good for him, but yeah, I get it. Kinda miss the community.” Devon looked across the road, watching an old couple roast marshmallows on twigs on their front lawn. “You know they’ve lived here their whole lives?” he asked me. “Mom said they used to babysit us when Dad was on a bender and she was working.”

“Thanks for babysitting us!” I shouted at them, throwing out an awkward wave. They waved back, laughing at us. “We’re assholes for neglecting Mary. We should do something for her.”

“Alright. Next week. We’ll pop by and bring her something.” Devon nodded, turning to face me. “Having a gay freakout yet?”

“No,” I scoffed. “Only you do that. Even though you already knew you were gay.”

“I didn’t freak out about that.” Devon shoved me. “Just that it was him.”

I remembered it well.

“But seriously. No panic? No regrets?” he asked.

“Nah. It was pretty hot until you threw towels at us. I thought it’d be awkward or whatever because we have no idea what we’re doing, but it wasn’t. We just figured it out as we went.”

Devon smiled for real. “You two have that. That ability to figure it out together because you trust each other. We didn’t. The first time I blew Madd, it was a fifty-fifty chance that he'd either knock me out or come.”

“Yeah, but you guys like to live on that edge.”

“I’m just saying, Nate… I’m happy for ya. Can’t believe this even happened, but if I think about life and what’s coming, it’s all you and Xav, fucking around, living together, being together. It’s weird, but it feels right.” He nudged me with his shoulder. “Don’t fuck it up.”

Had to figure out how to actually have it before I could fuck it up. Kids and marriage weren’t on my radar. Hell, unless Xavi actually wanted to adopt a stray, I didn’t think I was fit to be a dad. Maybe Karen would scratch that itch for him. To be honest, I didn’t know what my future would hold. Like I’d said, I’d never thought about it before.

But it was time to start thinking. Xavi wanted his fridge, and maybe… maybe I wanted to move back to Garron Park. Would he get a place with me?

“What’s with all this thinking?” Devon mocked me. “Don’t break your brain.”

“Fuck you. I think sometimes.”

“Yeah, about snacks and Xavi’s dick.”

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