Page 113 of LOT 62

“Dump it in a mass grave,” I added.

Nate looked at me. “You sure you don’t want a grave to piss on?”

“Nah, I’ll piss on yours when you eventually shit the bed.”

What a fucked up, perfect little family dinner. Thanks for the wedding gift, Mom.

“Youthinksheleftyou any money behind?” Maddox asked, handing me a beer later that night.

I looked at it but didn’t take it.

“Drink a beer, Devon. I trust you, and if you fuck up, I’ll knock some sense into you. You have to start trusting yourself with something, even if it isn’t drinking.”

I took the beer. Just one. “Maybe I can pawn off all her old lipsticks,” I laughed. “Maybe Pete will let me set up at his booth on Saturday. I’ve always wanted to do a farmer’s market.”

Maddox smacked me on the cheek. “Our wedding is Saturday. You backing out now?”

“Hell no. You’re stuck with me for life.”

“Good.” He looked at me and got all weird and secretive.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just love you.”

I knew that wasn’t what he wanted to say, but I didn’t have the mental space left to push him on it. This day had been messed up enough. “Love you, too.”

I drank the one beer, and when Maddox fell asleep on the other end of the couch, his feet on my lap, I pulled out the ninety-eighth piece of paper and gave this another shot. I needed to focus on something important, and my vows were the most important thing.

Maddox,

I give you my fucked up soul, my half-beating heart, and my lack of any life skills as a sign of my love. It might not be much, but it’s all I’ve fucking got, so you better be happy with it.

I can’t promise that shit is going to be easy, but I can promise I’ll be there every step of the way to bust your balls and love you.

Nah, that sounded too sappy. Not my style. He was the sappy one. I leaned my head back and pictured all the best scenes of our relationship like some damaged highlight reel. We had competitiveness like we always had, and I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. I thought back on all our fights, and how they morphed over the years from actually wanting to hurt each other to just being about connection and a way to blow off steam together. We had comfort and honesty, which allowed us to be ourselves without shame. We had anger issues, trust issues, parent problems, a lack of money, a lack of a home, and no real life goals, but we covered all that in love and smothered the fuck out of it.

I guess all we really wanted was to survive this life together.

With that thought, something clicked in my mind. I thought of the tree we’d be getting married under, the look on Maddox’s face when he saw it, and some sort of motto came to me. I set the pen down, smiling at him sleeping.

I had my vows.

51

-Maddox-

Xavismackedmeupsidemy head. “You should be calm. Why aren’t you calm?”

I ignored him and turned to face the prick who’d be officiating our wedding. “Are you even legit? I swear to fuck if you are some con artist Devon was too stupid to realize he hired, I will burn your house down.”

This idiot, a young guy with the scraggliest beard I’d ever seen, tucked his little binder under his arm and wasn’t even put off by my accusation. “Here’s my license.” He showed it to me. “I’m legit. And I don’t have a house to burn down, so good luck with that.”

I snatched the paper certificate out of his hand and read it. It said his name and claimed him as legit, but it didn’t make me any less suspicious of him. What was a young buck like him doing marrying gay guys under shitty trees?

“Madd, relax.” Xavi took the paper from my grip and handed it back to Scraggly. “You’re marrying your enemy today. Aren’t you happy?”

Elated. So happy. Just pissed about it because Devon was late. “If they show up on time,” I scoffed. “Devon is such a dick.”

---