Page 109 of LOT 62

“Then don’t judge me.”

“Does it look like I’m judging you, you dumb fuck?” I grabbed his wrists and untied them. “No more secrets.”

“Fine.” He rubbed his wrists, but I smacked his hands away so I could do it. “I’m feeding you food, feeding you cum, and then making you my bitch for the rest of the night. Fight me on it all you want,babe. You won’t win.”

He smirked, blushed, and then looked at the ground. “Love you.”

I pushed him back to the cabin, happy that all was right again. I fucked up a bit, but I’d spend the rest of the night making sure he got to be submissive like he wanted to be. Tomorrow, he could go back to being the alpha. “Love you. I think I always have.”

The weight of our love settled in my chest like a blanket. Devon really did love me. Me. Maddox Kane. Lowlife from Garron Park who worked on a farm for minimum wage. I was enough for him, and that made me feel like I could be enough for anything that came our way.

“I don’t think we knew the difference between love and hate back then,” he said.

“Do we now?” I asked.

“Probably not,” he laughed, opening the door to the cabin, naked as the day he was born. “But it’ll be fun trying to figure it out together for the rest of our lives.”

49

-Devon-

Allthestarswerealigned or some shit. She was six days early, because we weren’t getting married until Saturday, but who cared? My mom was here, and she was lucid for the first time in over half a year.

“Devon, hands off. Stop touching everything.” Maddox smacked my wrist to prevent me from messing up the food on the tray. “Just leave it be and go be with her.” He didn’t even try to hide that insult. He jerked his chin at the door and that was my hint to leave and go spend time with my mom.

I threw my hands in the air and walked outside to the backyard of Seth and Naomi’s new trailer. It had a deck and everything. My mom laughed at something, talking animatedly with Nate, and nerves grew in my stomach. It’d been a long time since I had a conversation with my mom, and not knowing when I’d get to do it again made me all weird about talking to her. Her eyes were clear and focused, and her attention was on Nate. Her legs were weak and she couldn’t really walk that well, but otherwise, she was the same old mom I used to know. As soon as I sat down, she reached for my hand and just… held it.

I needed Maddox to insult me again so I had a different emotion to focus on.

“Stay in the moment, hun,” Naomi whispered to me with a smile, and then she got up to help Maddox and Xavi cook. Why was she allowed in the kitchen? She sucked at cooking as much as I did.

Okay, stay in the moment.Nate rambled on about the shop, the apartment out back, and the ridiculous details of his friendship with Xavi.

“You two were always like brothers,” Mom said, and I watched Nate straight-up cringe at that. Okay, yeah, something had changed between them. “And you!” Mom turned to face me. “Marrying your sworn enemy?” Her smile lit up my damn world and she played with the purse on her lap.

“Yeah, weird as shit, eh?” God, when did I become this awkward? Had I always been this awkward? Maddox and I had no real reason to be enemies when we were younger. Our dad’s just hated each other, told us to hate each other, and that was that. The rest we did on our own, growing the feud into a lifestyle that somehow ended in marriage. “Do you approve?”

Mom brushed her knuckles down my cheek, leaving one hand in her purse. What if she said no? Ah, she’d probably forget the next time she woke up. “I approve of you being happy, and if he makes you happy, then yes. I hope I get to be there.”

“Me too,” I said, swallowing the fact that she probably wouldn’t be. Six days of lucidity? Would that happen? I didn’t want to get my hopes up, but it was okay to dream for a second. “Did you know about our lives? Did you… were you able to hear us talk all those times you weren't really yourself?”

Mom nodded, wiping her eyes after she wiped mine. “I heard. I just didn’t know how to process or respond to it, but I guess I absorbed it. You boys swear too much,” she laughed.

Nate glared at me for asking that question. He was right. We needed to enjoy the moment.

So, we told her everything we could cram in. Nate blurted out all sorts of weird shit, and I did the same. I think we were both a little worried that our time with her was limited, so we talked so fast we forgot to take breaths in between words. It felt like a confessional. We told her things we’d never tell anyone else, knowing that she’d hold on to them and never betray our secrets because she couldn’t. Maybe she just wouldn’t. I told her I was scared I would be a terrible husband, and Nate told her he was afraid to move on in life because he liked it how it was. Minus the dad shit.

Maddox sat next to me after a bit, keeping his mouth shut to let me do all the talking. But he held my hand the whole time, reminding me to slow down, focus on something else, or enjoy it instead of letting it all blur together.

“Food’s ready,” Xavi said, carrying out plates with Seth behind him.

Mom’s lucid state sprang up on us, so we hadn’t had time to make a real meal. This spread was a shitshow of whatever people had in their freezers. A bunch of people from the park threw in whatever they could. Chicken fingers, mozza sticks, pizza bites, a few meatballs that had freezer burn, a half-eaten dip with some chips, and a casserole that looked like baked spaghetti. Gina made treats and dropped them off, and Mary made a salad that had colourful marshmallows in it. Fucked assortment, but whatever. This was my wedding meal with my mom.

We all sat around the crooked table, wedged in with mismatched chairs so we could act like a real family. It felt good. Really good.

Heidi, the care worker who took care of Mom, walked up with a ceramic pot in her hands. “Hey, guys! Good to officially meet you, Deb,” she said to my mom. “I brought something to contribute.” She set the pot down, and it smelled like the best thing here.

“Chilli?” Xavi asked. “Smells fucking good.”

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