Page 9 of Travis

She ignores my statement. “Travis, so help me God, if you tell anyone about this. And let me be clear, I mean about us having sex last night, and about me being in therapy. So, help me God, I’ll never forgive you.”

After doing up my pants, I lift a defensive hand. “Becky, I’ve never betrayed you and I never will, so quit sweating over this. The only person you’ve got to worry about here is your sister or your mama. Or Ron, for that matter. If y’all don’t think you’re ready to get back together, then fine.”

She looks at me and swallows. The finality in her eyes is disarming. “Travis, it’s over. I don’t know what part of that isn’t clear to you. It was over when it was over and that’s it.”

The Christmas tree lit in Macey’s room is a mockery to me. Even though we’re weeks away from Christmas, it still feels like with the festive mood being present, now should be a time for miracles and good will, not heartbreak and disappointment. “Becky, you know, it doesn’t matter that we’re not together right now, because I’m still your husband, and I still love you with every beat of my goddamn heart. You need to work through some stuff, that’s fine. You want to take time out of our marriage to heal from all the bullshit about baby-making, you go on ahead and do that, but I am only yours. Call me a fool, call me a sap, I don’t care. You and I have been together since high school, and there’s nothing that we can’t see through.”

She mulls that over for a moment. “Travis, I can’t go back. That’s why this was such a mistake. What I meant by working on things is that I’m working on moving on. Taking the next step. I asked you to move out because it’s over, not because I wanted to take a break. I did it because I don’t want us to hate each other. You’re right that we’ve known each other since high school, and I don’t ever want to lose you, but if that means that we can’t be together anymore, then I think it’s worth it.”

The muscles in my jaw are working. This is all just her working through the bullshit, I tell myself. It’s not over. She still loves me or we wouldn’t be standing here now. We’d be tearing each other apart. Or is this just denial, like how I denied that we couldn’t have children. It’s hard to tell the difference when the woman I love is standing here, telling me that we’re over, and that all the years that we loved each other are for naught. I have to get away from her before she sucks me in, and we both lose hope. I grab my shirt and pull it over my head. “I love you, Becky.” I tell her, kissing her on the cheek, unlatching the princess lock, before walking out.

Laura’s got boxes in the living room labeled ‘Christmas decorations’, as I enter the main house, needing an Advil or something stronger, to cure my hangover. “Hey, Travis. Did you have fun at the birthday party last night?” Laura asks.

“Too much fun. Have you got some Aspirin or Advil or something?”

She smiles. “Sure. I’ll get it for you.” She walks towards the kitchen, and I follow her. “Wasn’t this a child’s party?”

I rake a hand through my hair. “Yeah, but it turns adult once the kids leave. It got a little out of hand, but that’s typical of my sister-in-law.”

“Was Becky there?”

I nod, tossing back the tablet that she hands me, drinking it down with a glass of water. “Yeah.”

“How did that go?”

“I thought it went well, but, evidently I was wrong.” I scoff, not going into further detail. I promised Becky I wouldn’t tell, and I intend to keep that promise.

“Oh, sorry to hear that.” She says, sensing my hesitation. “Grayson and the men are outside. I’m just going to get some paperwork done. If you’re hungry, there’s food in the fridge.”

“Thanks.” I say, drinking the rest of the water. And my mind goes back to last night as I look at Chip, Laura’s dog, laying on the floor, looking at me like he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “Yeah, easy for you to say, you just lift your leg and eat out of the dish. Y’all don’t have to worry about lady troubles, do ya?” I say to him, kneeling down to his level. He rolls over onto his back, so I can rub his belly. “That’s what’s great about dogs, huh, Chip. Y’all keep it simple. No games. No rules. Just roll over onto your back and it’s done.”

“Rough night?” Lisa says, coming from the living room.

Sheepishly, I rise. I had no idea she was there. “Sorry. I didn’t hear you in there.”

“It’s okay.” She waves. “I was just doing some banking on my phone for Kurt. The wifi connection’s better in the living room.”

“Oh.” I smile, wanting to head out the door, or to the nearest hole, and I wonder how much of my conversation with Chip that she heard.

“If I didn’t know you any better, I’d say you were hung over.” She smirks, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge.

“I am. I had a party at my sister-in-law’s house last night. Got a little out of hand.”

I know that Lisa knows Becky, since they’re both in the same circles, for business, so Lisa is aware of the breakup, and who knows what else, depending on what the word is around town. She looks at me speculatively, as I bend back down to pet Chip, feeling my innate manners take over, disallowing me to leave, knowing that Lisa’s got more to say. “Becky ever keep things from you, Travis?”

“Like what?” I ask, looking at her, my attention all hers now.

“Well, when Harlan and I were together, I had a medical problem that I kept secret. Mind you, my doctor didn’t say much about it, either, to be fair. But what it boils down to is I kept it from the man I loved, because I was scared of him knowing.”

I think about it for a second. “I mean, we went to all the doctor’s appointments together. I never missed one. If there was something she was keeping from me, it would have been awful hard for her.”

She gives me a soft, sweet smile. “God, she doesn’t deserve you, Travis.”

I inhale deeply. I know that she means well, but all the same, anything you say about my wife that isn’t nice, I’m not pleased about it. “She’s just going through a tough time.”

“Yeah.” Lisa says, reading right through me. “You just keep loving her and it’ll happen for you.”

“Thanks.” I purse my lips together into a smile, just as I hear little Quentin crying from his little bed in the living room.

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