Page 19 of Knotty New Year

“What—” I scrambled to my own feet. The oppressive heat dissipated instantly, and the slick and seed that rolled down my inner thighs felt cold and sticky. “Why not?”

“I’m no good,” he murmured, wiping his face. He reached for a shirt, moving as if he would clean up the mess on my body, but I flinched away from his touch. He hung his head, his dark hair shining. “I’m too old. You’re too young. I’m not going to steal your future.”

“Get out,” I snarled. “Thanks for the fuck.” He sighed, but as he turned away, I heard crying.

I knew it wasn’t him. Was it me?

“Fuck,” a baby’s voice said from the monitor out in the main bedroom.

“I’ll take care of him,” Pax told me as he strode out the door, his trousers in one hand. And then there was more crying.

But this time, it was definitely me.

Chapter9

Candy

The next day, I woke up on the floor of the closet, my heat a distant memory. It wasn’t dawn yet, and I had never been more humiliated or angry in my life. Happy fucking birthday to me.

I did a quiet tiptoe of shame down the hall to the nursery and peeked in. Benny was fast asleep, so I crept back to my bathroom, showered all the various dried fluids off my body, washed my hair, and tried to figure out how to burn down a nest without catching the house on fire. I had just gathered the bedding and clothes into a hamper, when I heard Pax clear his throat at the door.

“I’ll do that, princess.”

“Don’t call me that, please,” I said, refusing to turn and look. “And I made the mess. I’ll take care of it.”

“We made the mess together.” He walked into the room, grabbing the hamper. He looked… not angry, but tortured. “And we might have made a baby as well.” I waited for the punchline, but he didn’t go on, just glared down at the laundry.

“You worried I’ll try to force you into a marriage?” I tried not to sneer as I said, “Never fear, Mr. ‘I Want to Breed This Pussy.’ I’ve had Paxson Pharma’s finest triple-shot fertility suppressant. It’s impossible for me to get pregnant right now.” Of course, if what I’d heard anecdotally about true mates was accurate, an annual heat cycle could break through close to the end of the twelve months. But it couldn’t happen yet.

He looked up. “When was your shot? Which one did you take?”

“The annual dose, about two months ago.”

“Good. That’s good. Then there’s no way you could have conceived.”

I swiped my face with the back of a hand, wiping off tears. This man didn’t deserve them. But I didn’t drop my gaze. I let every bit of the scorn, rage, and humiliation he’d inflicted on me show in my eyes. For some reason, he broke off our stare and sank down on the edge of the bed.

“My mother was an omega. She and my dad… they were perfect together. They met, fell in love, and got married the next week. They had me, then Victor, then two more of my brothers, Luke and Teddy. The twins, Lin and Kati. When she got pregnant with the triplets, Mom wasn’t well. The girls thrived, but the doctor told Mom not to get pregnant again. Dad got a vasectomy; Mom had an IUD and was on the pill. But it still wasn’t enough. Mom died when Penny was four days old, and Dad had a heart attack the hour he lost her.”

He stared out the window. “I was about your age. We had all the money we could ever use, thanks to the family business. But in the space of a few hours, we lost the only things we needed. I had an infant to care for. Victor was off at college and said he’d come home, but I made him finish his degree before he returned to help me.”

“You didn’t have sitters? Nannies?” I knew most families with this sort of money had whole flocks of them.

“The first nanny I hired seemed fine,” he said, his voice haunted. “I thought I could go to work. But when I came home unexpectedly one day, she’d left Penny in a dirty diaper, crying, while the bitch took a smoke break for who knows how long.”

“That’s awful.” I wanted to reach out to comfort him, but I knew he didn’t want that.

“No, awful was the sitter who tried to abduct the triplets for ransom. After that, I realized the only thing that mattered was my family. So I threw everything I had into raising them as my parents would have. Once they were all in school, I took over running Paxson Pharma again, alongside Victor. I made sure they were safe, and secured their financial futures for the day when I wouldn’t be there to help them. I didn’t date until Penny was in kindergarten. I never planned to marry, or look for a mate.”

“Why not?” I made fists to keep from reaching for him.

He let out a short, dry laugh. “You pick. Seeing my dad die of grief when he lost his true mate? Losing the life I had planned when I became the de facto parent for nine siblings?” His eyes cut to me, and I was astounded at the pain reflected in those bitter chocolate pools. “I was your age when my choices vanished. I may be a complete asshole—no, Iamone—but I have this much decency left in me. I will not take your choices from you.”

“What choices?” I asked, my voice stripped raw. “Mine were already taken.”

“They’re not now. Not anymore.” He stood, placing a sealed envelope on the bed. “Happy birthday, Candy. The roads will be open before nightfall. I’ve called in some favors to get you home, or to wherever you want to go.”

I swallowed, trying to get the words to come out—“What if I choose you?”—but all I managed to say was, “You wouldn’t have chosen this, would you? Chosen me.” I kept my eyes fixed on his back, watching the play of muscles underneath his shirt. He kept flexing, as if he were fighting some invisible foe.

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