Page 161 of The Grand Ruin: Lance & Scarlet-Part One

I’ve seen pictures of Lance from the last year. Dinners he’s attended with the company that I found on the internet and then pictures Charlie, Elliot and Mason have posted on social media. Even photos that he’s posted. It’s like a smoke screen was pulled up in front of him, though, because the man in the photos isn’t the man in front of me now.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

I frown at his tone as it pulls me from my thoughts. He’s not mad. In fact, it barely even passes as a question with the way he mutters it. “Sorry, I… I guess I haven’t seen you in a while.”

He nods, eyes dropping down the length of me before he meets my eyes again and cocks his head toward the car. “Come on,” he says softly as if he’s been waiting forever and a day for me.

I get in and wait for him to round the driver’s side, allowing myself a moment to immerse myself in him.

My eyes flutter closed as I inhale.

I’ve missed that smell. The way it reminds me of long nights and lazy mornings. Being held in his arms and feeling safe. So unafraid.

Lance climbs in and closes the door, taking a second to adjust himself in his seat. His almost black, dark-grey suit is fitted to perfection. He’s so insanely man, it wrecks me.

Makes me a little bit stupid in the head, even.

“Where’s your car?” he asks.

Of course that’s what he wants to know. I side-eye him, rearranging my mum’s diary on my lap. “On the bridge at Durford.”

I feel his frown, his focus solely on me.

I meet his stare. “I forgot to put fuel in it,” I say sheepishly.

His face seems to falter, a slight tic in his cheek. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

I smile and twist my head, hiding it as I look out of the window. If he isn’t going to give me his fully, then I’m not going to give him mine either.

He pulls out onto the road, his body relaxing in the seat as we join the traffic. It’s busy on the streets, the roads gearing up for rush hour.

I speak before I can think much about it, hoping to cut the tension that’s coiled tightly between us. “I think putting fuel in my car is my least favourite thing to do on earth. I’ll do anything to avoid the task.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Scarlet.”

I roll my lips and look at him, wishing he’d say my name again. It’s been too long.

“Charlie said you started at the hospital. You’re back at university full time.”

I blow out a long breath, going with the conversation, no matter how awkward it feels. “I did. I knew it was time, and it’s honestly been amazing. I love it there.”

He gives me a half smile. It’s small, but it’s there… as if he still cares.

“I know I’m going to have a hard time stopping when it comes to you… I keep asking myself why I’d want to stop at all.”

“I don’t want you to stop… don’t stop.”

“And if I fall in love with you?”

“Then make sure you take me with you.”

“You never called me back that night, Lance,” I say without thought.

He must catch something in my tone because his head twists, his relaxed form growing tense.

He looks utterly exhausted, with dark circles heavy under his once-intense green eyes. I wonder what stole the light from them and pray it wasn’t me.

I carry on, knowing I need to get it off my chest regardless of whether he wants to hear it. “I felt like it was all my fault. You were there for me when my dad died, and I told you I didn’t want you. I pushed you away. I felt like it was my own fault when you were done with me after Bora Bora, but the things you said to me last summer—”

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