Page 58 of Grand Love

Nina

When I was a child,I told myself that letting people in was dangerous. Trying to protect the people around you is dangerous. Because they will hurt you. They find the things that will hit the hardest and use them to cause you pain.

It’s why I don’t let people in easily.

“If you came here to hurt me, then mission accomplished.” I clench my jaw, hating how my voice cracks.

Anger is etched into every plane of his face, his body vibrating with the same fury. My eyes don’t leave him as he turns and leaves the apartment.

The second the door slams shut, the tears come, and I let them. This has been brewing between us all week and it had to happen. I always knew it wouldn’t be pretty, but I never expected it to end uglier than it already was.

I hoped we could find some closure.

Deep down inside, I know Mason isn’t a bad person, and he wouldn’t have meant the words he just threw at me. But he intended to hurt me. A quick hit to make him feel better.

I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the way his words can cut me so easily.

“Nina,” his voice startles me.

I spin, rolling my lips as my throat burns. I try to contain the sob that breaks through but it’s impossible. My knees buckle as I cover my face.

“I’m sorry.” He closes the distance between us, pulling me into his chest.

I fall against him, giving in to the resistance and allowing him to heal the parts of me that only being in his arms can fix. My body shakes as I let it leave me, freeing myself of the emotions I’ve kept bottled up since the night I left.

His lips find my hair and I feel him inhale. I close my eyes and take my own deep breath, trying to commit this moment to memory. Because the moment he lets me go, I know I won’t be pulled back in again.

“We need to find a way to make this work.” My heart thuds hard against his chest, a warmth soaring through me. “Ellis deserves better than this.”

Ellis. Of course he’s talking about Ellis.

“If we can’t be civil for his sake” —he leans back, looking down at me— “then maybe it would be better to go back to the old setup, just for a while.”

He doesn’t want to see me. “Is that what you want?”

He watches me intently, as if I’m a mystery he can’t figure out. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

It’s too much. He’s too much. Pulling back, I wipe my face then wrap my arms around myself.

“I didn’t mean what I said, Nina, I’m sorry. I know how much it hurts you and I won’t do it again. I mean that.”

I nod my head, wiping my face. “We both said some shitty things,” I whisper, sounding dejected, and nothing like the woman that once promised to never take the type of shit he threw at me moments ago. Lucy is right, I need to find that girl again.

Cut out the waterworks, Nina.

“You think we can try this again? Start over,” he asks.

“I can’t have her around my son, Mason.” My voice wobbles and I turn my head off to the side, angry at myself for having zero control over my emotions.

His hand smooths over my cheek, tilting my head back to him. “I never touched her. I swear to you. There are things I want to tell you but it’s not the right time. Know that when it is, I will tell you.” His eyes hold so much conviction, I can’t help but think he’s telling the truth.

“What does that even mean, Mase?”

“You have to trust me.” His thumb skims across the underside of my lip and I pull away.

“That has to stop! You can’t touch me.”

He pockets his hands, running his tongue along the front of his teeth in annoyance. “Fine.”

---