Page 139 of Grand Love

Lowerwick Estateon any day is the vision of breathtaking tranquillity. But today as I look out over the grounds from my spot on the bedroom balcony, I wonder to myself if I have ever seen such beauty.

“Scar, you really outdid yourself. It’s perfect,” I tell her, smoothing my hand over the railing before sipping my champagne.

Scarlet slips up next to me, grinning wide as she looks over the grounds which are lit up with the lanterns and candles. “You really think so?”

I dip my head, smiling at her.

“I did good, didn’t I,” she confirms.

The sun decided to shine down on the estate for the entirety of the day, the marquee was able to dry out along with the grass, and with the team that Scarlet hired to set everything up, we were done just before two o’clock. Ellis should be arriving with Maggie and John any time now. They offered to have him so Mason could get himself ready and over to the Montgomery’s with the rest of the boys.

I haven’t seen Mason since Wednesday. Elliot dropped Ellis home on Thursday, because Mason had to go into the office, and when he didn’t call or text, I took it that he needed the space.

Having not heard from him means I have no idea how he’s feeling, or if he’s even going to show up. I contemplated texting him earlier, but am I really the one he would want to hear from when he is probably already in his own head about coming out here?

“Have you heard from Mason?” I ask Scarlet, hoping she can shed some light on the situation.

“No.” She purses her lips, grasping the railing and letting her perfectly curled lavender hair flow down her back. She tips her head to the sky. “Not even a text.”

Scarlet has worked tirelessly on this night, but I know despite her tone, that she holds a level of understanding for her brother. Scarlet is forgiving. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but I know it makes her the person she is, and she is the best kind to have in your life.

“There’s Mummy!” Lucy sings, carrying Ellis out onto the balcony. “And Auntie Scar.” She passes off Ellis to me and I place him on my hip. “There’s a guy downstairs, says he has a fifty-kilo block of cheese?”

Scarlet’s face instantly drops.

“What?” I laugh. “Why so much? The pantry is full of everything we need.”

“Oh my god,” Scarlet deadpans, scurrying out of the room and leaving us none the wiser on the balcony.

“You need to get changed,” Lucy tells me, standing in her robe just like me.

“We have time. Tell me about Miller. What happened?”

Her frown is defensive, and I’m not certain I’m going to get the truth. “What do you mean, what happened?”

“Luce, you said you were done.”

“I know.” She palms her forehead but pulls her hand away when she remembers her makeup. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Nina.”

When she doesn’t elaborate, I say, “It’s not about what you’re supposed to do, Luce, you do what you want, what feels right.”

“Nothing feels right. Nothing! Not my job, not my relationship.” She throws her hands out to her sides at a loss. “I was always the one with a plan. I wanted kids young.” She picks up Ellis’s hand. “And that’s not going to happen now. What if I don’t meet someone before I’m thirty?”

“So, your plan is to what… force a relationship with someone you don’t love?”

“I don’t love Miller,” she says in agreement. She lifts her eyes to mine and shrugs. “But I could.”

“You aren’t ready to make the decisions you’re making right now, Luce. Trust that when the time comes you will.”

“It’s just hard. Seeing you with your shit so together.” She smiles at me, her eyes glassy. “I’m proud of you—don’t think I’m not, but I feel a million miles away from your level of contentment right now.”

“What? Luce, you have no idea, or you do, and you refuse to see it. I haven’t danced in over a year. I have a son with a man I can’t go five minutes without arguing with. My shit is well and truly not together.”

“I’d still love to have half the life you do. Your independence and confidence to be alone is inspiring.”

“We’re all made differently, Luce, I don’t like being alone.” I run my lips along Ellis’s head. “It’s what you get used to.” I shrug.

She nods. “Sorry for the rant.”

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