Page 196 of Grand Love

“Mase.” She comes to me, wrapping me in her arms.

“I can’t do this without her.”

“It’s going to be okay,” she soothes. “It’s going to be okay.”

We go back to the waiting room where Scarlet tells the others what the doctor said. “We should go home, get some rest and be ready for their call.” Scarlet looks to me, knowing I won’t leave. “Or at least take it in turns.”

I shake my head and then go to stand at the window. It’s as if everything is at a standstill. The world outside and everything inside of me. Nothing is right, and it’s all I can think about. I just need everything to be okay.

“Mase, you’re going to stay?”

I look down at Megan as she slides a hand around my bicep. She looks as ruined as I feel. “Yeah.”

“I’m going to check in with Maggie and John, make sure Ellis is alright. Is there anything you need from home?”

My eyes burn at the mention of Ellis’s name. Jesus, why can’t I get a handle on my emotions. I rub at my eyes. “No, thank you, though.” I want to tell her to give him a kiss from me, to tell him Mummy will be home soon, but I don’t trust myself to voice it. I pull Megan into my side and tell her everything I can in my embrace, hoping she will go hold my son until his mummy can.

“She’ll be okay, Mase. I can feel it in my bones.”

I nod, squeezing her shoulder and catching Charlie’s eye behind her. Charlie Aldridge has to be one of the strongest men I’ve ever met. He is sensitive, intuitive yet can stand here and take control; he doesn’t have room for the emotions that I know will be killing him inside. Instead, he acts as a pillar holding up the dark that threatens to fall on us. Today would have been much different without him.

“I’ll drive the girls back,” he tells me, his voice strong. “Call me if anything changes.”

“Yeah.”

He pulls me into a hug and then guides Megan out of the room. Elliot is crouched down in front of Lucy who is still lying across the seats.

“I’m going to go home and shower,” Scarlet tells me. She has Elliot’s jumper thrown over her, but I know she has blood on her top beneath it. A mixture of Nina’s and Joey’s. “Unless you want me to stay?”

“No, you go Scar. Is Vinny driving you?”

“Yeah.”

“Elliot,” I call. He looks over his shoulder at me. “I’ve got her.” I nod to Lucy.

He straightens, his eyes falling back to her. “I’m going to stay too. I’m going to get us some food. You guys need to eat.”

I roll my lips and nod my head even though he doesn’t see. I can’t think about food. I can’t imagine anything I eat staying in my stomach if I wanted to eat.

Vinny doesn’t speak as he walks by me, and I know everything that’s happened will be weighing heavy on him. He’ll blame himself for not pinning down Sarah sooner, but I already know it’s all on me. I never should have meddled.

I stand looking out the window as the room empties, quietness falling heavy when it’s just me and Lucy left. She hasn’t said more than a couple words since she turned up. I know her silence comes from a place of pain. She’s hurting, needing something only her best friend can give her.

Like Elliot, I crouch down in front of her, waiting. I place a hand on the side of her face and her icy blue eyes drift open and land on mine. I give her a small smile, telling her I get it. I feel the same.

She lifts her neck from the seat and I slide in under her, letting her rest her head on my thigh.

“I’ve sat in so many waiting rooms impatient for the doctor to come back so he can tell us what’s wrong with her.” She sniggers under her breath, her tears seeping through my jeans. “Always ready to go get ice cream with Mum or have her come home to us for the weekend.” I sit quiet as her voice struggles to fill the room. “She’s the best person I know, Mason. How does this happen to someone so good? There are so many bad people in this world. Why her?”

“I don’t have the answers. I wish I did, but I don’t,” I say in a pained daze, imagining Nina as a child.

“She would know. She always has the answers.”

My head drops back to the wall, my eyes drifting closed.

Wake up, Angel.

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