Page 158 of Grand Love

The smell of something smoky assaults my senses, and the darkness from the closed curtains make it hard to see into the room.

“Joey?”

He doesn’t answer me, and I huff as I step inside and turn on the light. Joey isn’t in the lounge and apart from his discarded hoodie, everything is how I left it on Thursday. Trickling water sounds from the bathroom, and I frown as I move in that direction, pushing open the slightly ajar door.

“Joey?!” I panic.

I run to him, pushing on his shoulder as his head snaps up out of the water.

“What the fuck, Nina!” His eyes are wide and red-rimmed, his body jolting up in the bathtub.

“You were fucking asleep, Joe!” My heart is erratic in my chest, my hands shaking. “Your face was all but under.”

“It wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was!” I snap. “Jesus! Do you know how dangerous it is! You could have…”

I cut myself off, feeling awful for what I was about to say.

“Say it,” he spits, rubbing at the end of his nose with his palm.

“I’m sorry.”

“Died.” He chuckles. “I could have died.”

I roll my lips. “When did you get back?”

“Last night.” He looks up at me and then drops his eyes quickly. “Good night?”

My shoulders drop as the guilt sinks in. “Yeah, it was amazing.”

He nods his head, water dripping from his hair onto his chest.

“I know you are hurting, and I can go, but—”

“I’d prefer it if you did.”

“Joey, don’t speak to me like that.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I don’t want you here.”

I stand wide-eyed, not knowing what the right thing to do is. Do I leave him?

“GET OUT!” he yells, making me jump. I turn and leave the bathroom quickly and pull the door shut behind me.

My eyes sting with tears as his words embed themselves, even though I know he doesn’t mean them. Joey is good at being alone, it’s the way it’s been for a long time for him. I go to his kitchen and pour a glass of water, then pull down his medication box. He can yell at me all he likes.

I place the water on his dresser in his room and leave the pills beside the glass. The packet was half empty and I have no idea if he would have taken them when he was away. It was only a few days, but I don’t know how much it would affect him.

Twenty minutes later, he pushes open the door. He doesn’t enter the room, he just stands on the threshold with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“You okay?” I ask.

He chews on his bottom lip, his hands clenching twice before he steps into the room and over to his drawers. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he picks out some joggers, pulling them on under his towel. He stuffs the two tablets into his mouth, swallowing them down dry.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Without a word, he leaves the room, coming back a few minutes later with his hoodie pulled over him.

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