Page 58 of Didn't See That Coming

Jonas points at me. “See? This attitude right here, that’s what I like about you, Kiki. You’re not like all the other girls.”

Not like all the other girls. I’d like to find the asshole who normalized “Not like other girls” as a compliment and grind his stupid head into the dirt.

“You’re so strong and stubborn,” Jonas continues. “You don’t care about offending me. It’s so refreshing. You’re exactly the kind of girl I need in my life. And it’s pretty romantic, don’t you think? Classic enemies to lovers. You’re this strong, stubborn girl. I was your enemy, and you killed me in-game every night. But why were we always fighting? Because there are so many feelings simmering underneath.”

“The only feeling I have for you is revulsion, you privileged asshole!”

Jonas’s eyes narrow. “I don’t believe that. You don’t spend hours killing someone in-game over and over again unless you have some serious feelings for him.”

“Yeah, those feelings are called hate,” I cry. “And I don’tget it, Jonas. All this time, you’ve been calling me Crazy Kiki, and now you suddenly want to date me? I just—I don’t get it!”

“Really?” He looks genuinely confused. “How can you not get it? Isn’t it obvious?”

“Isn’t what obvious?”

“You know how when we were kids and if a boy liked a girl, he would pull her pigtails?” Jonas raises his eyebrows at me. There’s a moment of expectant silence as I gape at him.

“You’re saying…” I hesitate. “That this whole time, you…liked me?” The words sound so alien and wrong that I’m pretty sure I’m hallucinating.

Jonas shrugs. “Yeah, why not? You’re pretty cute, and I did find you intriguing, yes. I told you, before you, no one dared to ever question me. You’re refreshing.”

“You tormented me this whole time because you thought I was cute?” My words come out as a shocked whisper.

“Aww, Kiki, come on, I wouldn’t call it ‘tormenting.’ It was just a bit of teasing. Flirting, you could even call it.”

“I don’t think—no.” I take a deep breath. “Look, I don’t give a shit what your explanation is. The answer is still no.”

The warmth leaches out of Jonas’s face, but only for a moment, before a slow smile spreads across it. “Don’t you think the other kids would find it interesting that you, Crazy Kiki, have been bullying me online while disguised as a guy? I mean,if that isn’t crazy, I don’t know what is.”

My mouth falls open. “But I—” Nothing else comes out, because what else is there to say? I have no idea how to defend myself, because yes, it sounds absolutely ridiculous. It soundsso bad when he puts it like that, and even if I were to convince myself that I wouldn’t care what the whole school thought of me, I care a lot what Liam would think. If he found out that I’m Dudebro10 from Jonas, it would look a thousand times worse than it is.

Jonas’s smile wanes a little at my horrified expression. “Hey,” he says quickly, “don’t look so terrified. Jesus, Kiki. I’m not a total asshole, okay?”

He is so completely in love with the image of himself as the hero of the story that he can’t see what a huge asshole he’s being. I very nearly snort out loud at him.

“Come on, just give me a chance. You’ll see that I’m a nice guy. You know how many girls would kill to have me as a boyfriend?”

“Said like a true nice guy,” I mutter with obvious resentment.

Jonas laughs. “See? This is what I like about you! So feisty. So sassy.”

“So patronizing. I don’t understand what’s in this for you. You said it yourself: girls are falling over themselves to date you. Why go for me?”

Jonas shrugs. “I like a challenge. Also, everyone at school basically worships me, and having you there obviously hating me is kind of a bummer, you know?”

That’s probably the realest reason he has for wanting to date me. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been so angry or disgusted by anyone before. “I’m not ‘a challenge,’ Jonas, I’m an actual living human.”

Jonas makes atchsound. “You know what I mean. And I never shy away from challenges.”

A revolted shudder trembles through my entire body. I want to violently gag at him. But I know when I’m beat. I can’t have him tell everyone that I’m Dudebro, especially not Liam. For a moment, I squeeze my eyes shut, willing this day to end. I feel so utterly defeated, not a single atom inside me has any fight left. No way out. I can’t believe it, but I am going to have to enter into this deal with the devil. “No touching,” I manage to force out. “Absolutely nothing physical.” If I were forced to kiss Jonas, I would vomit all my organs right into his stupid face.

Jonas mimes a stab wound to his heart. Oh, if only it were a real stab wound. “Ye of little faith,” he moans. “Do you really think I would kiss a girl who isn’t into me?”

“Yes, actually.”

He pouts at me. “Okay, well, you’re wrong. I’m not like that. No physical contact, deal.”

I’m releasing a sigh of relief when he holds up his index finger.

---