Page 52 of Didn't See That Coming

I flail at her. I seem to be doing a lot of flailing recently. “Because! Haven’t you been listening? I lied to him about—”

“Who you are online, sure, whatever. Everybody does.”

“It’s different. It’s not like editing your online profile pic to look more presentable. He thinks I’m a guy.”

“So what? You don’t have to tell him that you’re Dudebro. You can just be your own person.”

I gawk at her. “And continue chatting with him online as Dudebro in the meantime? No, I can’t do that. That feels really slimy. We don’t just play together. He tells me a lot of things online. Like, private stuff about his family.”

Cassie sighs. The mask around her mouth is now covered in flakes of salted egg. If I weren’t so down about Liam beingout on a date with Triss, I would’ve laughed at the sight of both of us covered in black masks and crumbs.

“I bet they’re hitting it off,” I moan. I almost flop over dramatically but catch myself in time before I smush charcoal mud all over my rug. Damn it, these masks were a terrible idea. I need to be able to do my melodramatic flops.

Cassie glances at her watch. “They’ve been out, what, an hour? That’s a pretty long coffee date.”

I glare at her. “You’re not helping.”

“Have more coconut cake.” She picks one up and literally pops it in my mouth.

“I bet they’re making out.” Since my mouth is filled with delicious cake and syrup, it comes out as “Oomfh oomph mff.”

“Making out?” I have no idea how Cassie understood that, but now she’s staring at me like I’ve just sprouted tentacles from my head. “You seriously think they might be making out on their first date? Their first date, which, might I add, is taking place at a café.”

I shrug forlornly. “Okay, so it sounds a bit unlikely when you put it that way, but please tell that to my asshole brain, because it won’t stop conjuring up images of Liam and Triss kissing and slurping at each other.”

“Kissing…and slurping?” Cassie cackles. “Tell me you’ve never made out with anyone without telling me you’ve never made out with anyone.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “Clearly, I have made out with plenty of guys.”

“And all this making out involved slurping?” Cassie makesa face, which makes her mask crack. “See, this is why I’m thankful that I’m not into guys.”

“Okay, not specifically slurping. But, you know, there was a lot of tongue involved.”

“Too late, you said ‘slurping.’ You can’t take it back.”

“How do girls make out?”

“Well, it’s very hot and very sexy, and there is definitely no slurping.”

By now, despite everything, I’m finding it hard not to laugh. Cassie joins me, and as we laugh, our face masks crack and flake to the floor, which makes us laugh even harder.

A beep interrupts our laughter. It shoots straight through my consciousness and lights up a Liam-shaped area of my brain, becauseah!It’s the alert from Discord. I leap up so abruptly from the floor that Cassie goes, “What the hell?” but I don’t respond as I pounce on my phone and open up the app.

Sourdawg:U there?

Dudebro10:YES—

I delete that and type in “yes,” no caps, like a normal person would.

Sourdawg:Wanna do a battleground?

I stare at my phone as though the message were in German.

“What is it?” Cassie asks.

I turn to her with a frown. “Liam’s asking me—well, Dudebro—if I want to playWarfront Heroes.”

Cassie shrugs. “Why not?”

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