Page 35 of Didn't See That Coming

Sharlot:Did you tell him who you are?

Kiki:What?! Of course not! He thinks my online persona is a GUY, remember?

Cassie:Oh god, that’s right, DUDEBRO

Kiki:What should I do???

Cassie:Act normal@@@

Kiki:Should I just tell him the truth?

Sharlot:Definitely not right now. You’re in the middle of the school day, right? I think for now, just act normal. We’ll come up with a better way to expose yourself later

Cassie:Expose herself, huh?

Kiki:CASSIE

Sharlot:CASSIE

Despite everything, I snort a little at Cassie’s comment. That’s so Cassie. The thought brings about a whole wave of sadness. I wish we were still in the same school. We’d be going to the bathroom together, gripping each other and squealing over the revelation of Sourdawg’s identity. Oh god, Sourdawg.Aka Liam. Oh, lordy lordy lordy. I take a deep breath. Ew, gross. One definitely should not do any deep breathing in a school bathroom. I breathe out through my mouth.

I can handle this. I mean, as far Sourdawg candidates go, Liam’s pretty freaking amazing. He’s kind, he hasn’t bought into the whole “Crazy Kiki” thing, and he’s just promised that he’s going to start standing up to Jonas. The memory of thatmakes guilt lance through my gut. Liam is a decent person. He doesn’t deserve to have me lying to him. But then I think of all the conversations we’ve had online and how honest he’s been about his parents’ divorce and, god, I feel like total and utter crap at the thought of Liam sitting behind the screen, typing earnestly to Dudebro. Dudebro, who he thinks is a dude. This is the worst.

Cassie and Sharlot are right, I can’t possibly let him know who I really am. Not now, at least. I’ll have to come up with a way to—uh, expose myself (damn Sharlot for putting those words in my head!) as gently as possible. Yes, good plan.

With another deep breath—ugh, big mistake—I brush down my skirt and make my way out of the bathroom. I can do this. I can totally act normal with Liam.

Dudebro10:Hey, so you mentioned that there’s a new kid sitting next to you?

Okay, so I can’t, in fact, act normal with Liam. But hey, can anyone really blame me? I mean, okay, yes, they totallycan, but I bet anyone in my shoes would be totally digging for information.

Sourdawg:Did I? I think there are a couple of new kids in my class this year

Dudebro10:Yeah, I think you mentioned in passing

Oh god, oh god, I amsweating.

Sourdawg:Oh OK. Yeah I’m sitting next to a new girl

Dudebro10:Cool. Is she hot?

My soul folds into itself over and over until it’s a tiny, dense wad screaming into the void. I can’t believe I just straight out asked Liam if I’m hot. I’m fishing for compliments, I know, but it’s been a rough week. The universe owes me this one.

Sourdawg:She’s cute. But kind of grumpy. You know Grumpy Cat?

He did not just compare me to Grumpy-freaking-CAT.

Dudebro10:Yeah…?

Sourdawg:Yep. She’s got that pissed-off expression down. Exactly like Grumpy Cat

Dudebro10:Maybe she’s pissed off because people are bullying her?

Sourdawg:Yeah, maybe. I did apologize to her for not standing up to those assholes. TBH, I was kinda talking abt it with mytherapist and she was, like, “How does it make you feel to watch this girl get bullied?” and welp, feels like shit. So I’m gonna say something next time

Dudebro10:I bet she’ll rly appreciate it

Sourdawg:Maybe. Should’ve done it a lot sooner. Anyway, enough about me. What abt you, bro? Seeing anyone?

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