Page 31 of Didn't See That Coming

Kiki:Ummmmm…dare I ask what it’s for?

SJP:We mentioned the NDA before—don’t worry, it’s veryreasonable. You can talk about your date freely if you want, but you must leave Eleanor Roosevelt and me out of it. No one else can know of Lil’ Aunties

Kiki:So you’re like the Illuminati

Eleanor Roosevelt:But better, because we’re actually doing good. The DocuSign also includes a waiver so you can’t sue us if things go wrong :)

Kiki:UMMM, wait, just how wrong are you expecting things to go??

SJP:It’s just a formality

Eleanor Roosevelt:Yep, just a formality. But sign it before your date pls

Welp, this is the first-ever NDA and waiver I have ever had to sign. Feels right that it would be, of all things, for Eleanor Roosevelt’s questionable matchmaking service. I click on the link and sign where the program tells me to, then hit Send.

SJP:Got it

Eleanor Roosevelt:Thanks, Ci Kiki! Right, you’ve got sixteen minutes before Jeremiah picks you up for your date. Have fun!

Sixteen minutes is very precise timing, but I can picture Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica holding an actual timer and watching it to mark the start time of my first date. I check my reflection in the mirror one last time before making my way downstairs.

I walk as quietly as I can past the living room, but Papi spots me and calls out, “Kiki, you off to see Cassie?”

I wipe the grimace off my face and plaster on a smile before turning to face him. “Just going out with a friend from school.”

Mami appears from the kitchen behind him, grinning. “From Xingfa?” she practically squeaks. “A new friend!”

Anger leaps up my gut. She is the last person who has the right to be happy about anything that has to do with Xingfa. I scowl at her. “Not a friend. Just—” I struggle for the right words. I don’t want to tell my parents that I have sunk so low that I had to enlist the help of two underaged matchmakers. But then I realize, why not? It’s their fault I’m in a school so ill-suited to me that I’m now friendless. “I don’t have any real friends at Xingfa.”

Mami’s and Papi’s faces crease into frowns. “That’s not possible,” Mami says with a snort. “Even when you were in kindergarten, you were always popular.”

It hurts because it’s true. I’ve never had a taste of being a pariah, and the reminder of how loved I was in the past suddenly drains me. I shake my head. “Whatever.”

Papi’s smile fades. “Kiki.” There’s a warning tone in his voice, which angers me.

“Well, you clearly have friends, because you’re going out now,” Mami says brightly.

It’s too much, all of it. Mami’s peppy, hopeful voice. Papi’s disappointment. I shrug and say, “Anyway, see you,” and before they can say anything else, I practically rush out the front door.

The last thing I want to do is have to walk back inside the house and be faced with more questions, so even thoughJeremiah isn’t here yet, I walk down the driveway and wait outside our gate. I check my phone. It’s two minutes past the official start time of our date. I chew the inside of my cheek and scroll through TikTok for a bit. Five minutes pass, then ten. Technically, this isn’t a rarity; Indonesians are notorious for being late. We call it “Indo time.” But Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica have been so insistent on punctuality, I really wasn’t expecting this. I’m about to send a WhatsApp message to the Lil’ Aunties group chat when I see a car trundling down the street.

It stops right in front of my house. My mouth goes dry, and I have to swallow to keep from coughing. This is it. My first-ever Lil’ Aunties date. The back door opens and out comes Jeremiah. Niiice. I make a mental note to commend Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica for making a good choice: broad shoulders, firm jaw, a mop of curls that’s just begging for fingers to run through it. Jeremiah is totally a sight for sore eyes.

But apparently he doesn’t feel the same way about me, because when he sees me, his expression falls. It’s such a drastic change that it’s impossible to miss. His mouth actually drops open, and his eyes go dark, his brows slamming together. Good god, do I really look that terrible? Maybe I have a giant piece of spinach stuck to my teeth? No, the way he’s staring at me with such despair, I would have needed to have a whole bunch of spinach stuck to my face.

“Um, hi,” I somehow manage to say.

“No,” Jeremiah says.

“Sorry?”

“This is not happening. I am NOT going out with Crazy Kiki.”

It feels like he’s just kicked me in the stomach. The breath is knocked out of me, and I want to crumple to the ground.

Jeremiah is shaking his head. “Ugh, I should’ve known better than to trust those kids. No wonder they didn’t want to tell me who my date was. Jesus, what a waste of time.” Sneering, he climbs back inside his car. He doesn’t even bother speaking to me. Everything he’s said has been to some invisible audience. Before I know it, the car is reversing. My head is a screaming, scrambled mess. What is happening? He just got here! I didn’t even get to—

“Wait!” I shout, running toward the car. It halts, and the back window rolls down. Jeremiah peers out at me, still frowning.

---