Page 28 of Didn't See That Coming

Dudebro10:Rly?? I was shocked

Sourdawg:That’s ’cuz you’ve been spoiled by your hippie school. Haven’t you read the news recently? There’s that case in—I can’t remember, it might have been Thailand—where this girl reported her classmate for harassment and got expelled

Dudebro10:WHAT?

Sourdawg:Yeah, dude. That’s not even unique. She only got some press because she happens to be a YouTube star. Then there’s that case in Malaysia where this boy said he was dunked in the trash by his classmate, and they were BOTH expelled for “besmirching the reputation of the school.”

Dudebro10:Wait, WHAT? They expelled the poor boy for being bullied?

Sourdawg:Yesss. It’s a thing! How do you not know this? It’s a problem all over Asia. And the thing is, when students report bullying, a lot of the time, the schools are only concernedabout saving face. Otherwise the school might LOSE FACE #shockhorror

Dudebro10:Wow, okay. That rly sucks. I guess I sort of knew about it, but I had no idea it was this bad

Sourdawg:Yeah. I rly hate that about our cultures. You know how I’ve been going to therapy ever since my mom left?

Dudebro10:Yeah, you said it’s been rly helpful, right?

Sourdawg:Yeah, I love my therapist. She’s rly cool. But anyway, she’s also a secret. Like, my dad basically told me I couldn’t tell anyone else—not my cousins or friends or our relatives—about her

Dudebro10:Jesus

Sourdawg:Yep. Because if anyone knew that I was seeing a therapist, they’d be like, “Omg he’s craaazy!” and then WHAT WOULD PEOPLE THINK OMGGG

Dudebro10:OMG WE WOULD LOSE SO MUCH FACE

Sourdawg:ALL OF IT, ALL THE FACE

Dudebro10:LMAO

Sourdawg:

Dudebro10:Hey srsly tho, thanks for telling me. I feel honored and stuff

And really, really guilty, because Sourdawg has no idea that he’s just told a schoolmate. God, I seriously need to find out who Sourdawg is IRL.

Just as I think that, my phone beeps. It’s a message from a group chat called Lil’ Aunties. Ah, good timing. I open it with just a tad of trepidation.

Eleanor Roosevelt:Ci Kiki! Guess what? You are all set to go on your first ever Lil’ Aunties–sanctioned date

I hurriedly type “BBL” to Sourdawg before typing out a message to Lil’ Aunties.

Kiki:Cool, who’s it with?

SJP:Jeremiah Riady. He’s an above-average specimen of the teenage male

My mouth quirks into a smile. These girls, I swear.

Kiki:Above-average specimen of the teenage male, huh? Wow, you’re really selling this hard

Eleanor Roosevelt:That’s actually our highest category. We have “Above average,” “Average,” “Below average,” and “Unfit”

Was I ever this smart and cool when I was their age? Oh, who am I kidding? I’m still nowhere near as smart or cool.

Kiki:Sounds good. I’m looking forward to it!

Operation Find Out Who Sourdawg Is is officiallyunderway.

CHAPTER 8

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