Page 20 of Didn't See That Coming

“Dude, how many Chinese schools are there? Like, a freakton. There’s Huayang, Nanyang, ACS, SIS, National High, Tzu Chi—actually, Tzu Chi is probably the biggest one. Or maybe ACS? So he’s probably assumed it’s one of those two.”

I nod slowly, digesting her words. Despite Cassie’s cavalier attitude, what she’s saying actually makes a lot of sense. “Okay, so Sourdawg doesn’t know I’m at Xingfa. But what if he asks Dudebro to meet up?”

“Who’s Dude—oh god, is that your screen name? Seriously?” Cassie grins.

“I wanted to pretend to be a guy, so…”

“So you used the most stereotypically male nickname ever? But I get it. I would never have guessed that someone named Dudebro is a girl.” Cassie gives me thisYou did wellsmirk. “Okay, so let’s say he asks Dudebro to meet up. You could fess up? Nope, never mind. Too big of a risk. Okay. You’ve got a couple of options. One: Be a normal person and come up with some excuse, like ‘I can’t, because I’m panicking in introvert.’ Or two: Send some guy to go and pretend to be Dudebro.”

“Right, because it would be so easy to find someone to pretend to be Dudebro.”

“It is, actually. We could ask my brother. He’d do it for a fee. He games too, so he’ll know what he’s talking about.”

I shake my head. “I already feel awful enough about duping Sourdawg into thinking I’m a guy. I really don’t want to have to take the con any further than that.”

“Okay, so just come up with excuse after excuse. You got food poisoning, because this is Jakarta and we get food poisoning every other month. You have an exam coming up, because you go to a super-competitive Chinese school. Your parents are stereotypical tiger parents and don’t let you go out of the house, ever. There are myriad reasons why you can’t meet up with your online friend.” Cassie looks satisfied by her reasoning, and I can’t blame her, because they’re actually really good excuses. Listening to her makes me feel like I can pull this off, that Sourdawg being here isn’t even that big a deal.

But that night, as I lie in bed wide awake and staring up at the ceiling, my confidence melts away, and the fear laps at me once more. What if Sourdawg finds out the truth?

CHAPTER 6

The next morning, I get ready for school with renewed purpose. The purpose being:Well, if Sourdawg is my schoolmate, I really need to not be such an outcast. Bad enough if he ever found out I’m Dudebro10; I can’t have him thinking I’m a total loser in real life too.

I take extra time to blow-dry my hair until it’s so shiny that when I put a comb in it, it just slides through the silky strands of hair on its own. Then I swipe on a light coating of mascara and tinted lip balm and smile at my reflection. I look so cute. “Me? Pretty?” I say to my reflection. “Oh, I just woke up likethis.”

Then it’s down to the breakfast of champions: cereal that’s basically made out of cardboard and sugar but pretends to be healthy, and a cup of coffee so strong that my right eyelid starts twitching about halfway through. I swear, Indonesian coffee is so potent it might as well be crack cocaine. And now I’m ready to go and slay. Even Pak Run tells me I look particularly “neat” this morning, which is a serious compliment coming from him.

My renewed confidence lasts only until we drive through the towering Xingfa gates, then it fizzles away with a sad squelch. But I glare up at the building and silently remind myself that I’ve got this. I’ve handled far worse. I may not be able to think of what situations I have handled before that were far worse than being bullied at my new school, but I’m sure I’ve been in worse situations.

As I trudge up the stone steps, I spot two familiar figures in the distance: Eleanor Roosevelt and Sarah Jessica. A smile takes over my face. It’s impossible to not be in a good mood when I see Eleanor Roosevelt. “Hey, guys,” I call out. They spot me and start coming toward me, grinning. As they come closer, it hits me that their matchmaking service might just bethe answer I need. As soon as the idea appears, it sinks its little claws inside me and refuses to let go. Why not? It’s a brilliant idea. With the help of Lil’ Aunties Know Best, I’ll be able to take my time figuring out who Sourdawg is without attracting too much attention.

“Hey, Ci Kiki!” Eleanor Roosevelt gives me a hug, and my desiccated husk of a heart melts a little. For the millionth time, I wonder what amazing karma George Clooney must have to have a little sister like Eleanor Roosevelt.

“Hey, kid. Hey, Sarah Jessica.”

Sarah Jessica raises her chin and says, “ ’Sup.”

I’m a little bit disarmed by a bespectacled thirteen-year-old in a school uniform that goes below her knees saying “ ’Sup,” and it takes me a moment to gather my thoughts. “Hey, so I was thinking…you know, about Lil’ Aunties.”

Eleanor Roosevelt’s eyebrows knit together in clear disappointment. “Oh. You don’t wanna do it after all?”

“No, actually,” I say quickly, “I would love to be a part of the whole thing. Including the matchmaking.”

It’s as though the sun has just come out from behind the clouds. Eleanor Roosevelt’s whole face lights up, and she turns to Sarah Jessica, who’s already grinning, and the two of them grasp each other’s hands and squeal. The sight of it twists my heart; I miss Cassie and Shar so, so much.

“Really?” Sarah Jessica says.

“Yeah. I mean, I think we need to go over some ground rules, but sure, I think it’d be fun.”

“Ah!” Eleanor Roosevelt shouts, wrapping her arms around me. “It’s going to be amazing!”

Sarah Jessica pushes her glasses up her nose and clears her throat. “Let’s be more discreet about this, please, since dating is not technically allowed at Xingfa.” She looks so serious and matronly that I have to bite my lip to keep from smiling. God, was I ever this confident when I was their age? “Don’t worry, we’ll send you our guidebook before you go on a date.”

“You have a guidebook?”

They both roll their eyes at me. “Duh,” Eleanor Roosevelt says, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ears. She’s wearing her hair in a braided headband and looks so adorable. The fashion industry needs this kid. “It has everything: a code of conduct, rules of engagement, an NDA—”

“An NDA?”

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