Page 16 of Didn't See That Coming

Cassie:I’m serious! I read about it in this article. Steroids affect your hormones. If guys take them, their voices get really high and their dicks get tiny!

Sharlot:ROFL

My eyebrows are all the way up in my hairline by now. My thumbs hover over the screen, ready to type a reply, but instead, I scroll lower and see that the conversation has already moved on to Cassie telling Sharlot about Mrs.Prasari, our notoriously eccentric biology teacher, who wears two pairs of glasses: one over her eyes, the other perched on her forehead. Even after two years of biology, we still don’t know if she’s aware of the second pair of glasses on her head. Apparently, she brought a dead pig to lab, and nobody was sure whether it was school-sanctioned or Mrs.Prasari bought it at the wet market earlier that morning. Knowing Mrs.Prasari, it could really go either way, and the thought of her compared to Ms.Tian makes my breath catch. I never thought I’d miss Mrs.Prasari with such ferocity, but oh, how I do.

Again, replies fly through my mind—already I can think of at least four jokes I can make out of the situation—but as I scroll, I see that the conversation has moved away from thatand on to something completely different. By the time I reach the end of the messages, Cassie and Sharlot have covered at least five different topics of conversation, and I’ve missed every single one of them. All because of Xingfa’s rule about keeping phones in a stupid basket outside the classroom.

There’s a surprising lump in my throat, and I gaze out the window, taking long, deep breaths that come out ever so slightly juddery. My thoughts keep coming back toIt’s not fair. Not fair, not fair. Not. Fair.

I’m fully aware that this train of thought makes me sound about four years old, but truly, this is such a great injustice. I had friends at Mingyang. Good ones, girls I can see myself growing old with. But what if I’m wrong? What if Cassie and I were only ever so close because we just happened to be in the same class for years and years? And now that I’m no longer there, maybe she’ll decide that we never had that much in common before. Why did Mami and Papi think it would be okay for them to yank me out of the only school I’ve known for the past ten years and plonk me into a cold, unwelcoming environment where I’d have to start from scratch. Why? All because George Clooney goes there and so it must be the premier school in Jakarta. It’s not fair. Why should I be punished for my parents’ ambitions?

By now, I’m so upset that I can’t even muster up the energy to respond to the messages. What’s the point? The last message was sent over an hour ago. Cassie is probably doing her extracurriculars right now—she plays the cello in the school orchestra. And Sharlot’s probably in bed. I plop my phone onto my lap and rest the side of my head against the car window.

As soon as I get home, Mami is all over me.

“Kikiii!” she cries, swooping down on me and dragging me through the living room and into the kitchen. “I got ube cheesecake, your favorite, and an oat latte—I know how much you love those. Come in here and tell me everything about your day!”

I look at her, and the awfulness of today crashes down on my shoulders. With it comes the anger, glowing like hot coals. “My day was shit. I hate my new school. I still don’t know why I had to switch out of Mingyang—oh wait, it’s because you want me to be a social climber like you.”

The smile freezes on Mami’s face, and I feel a stab of guilt, but it’s quickly flattened by my anger. Because where’s the lie in what I just said?

Mami takes a deep breath. I can tell she’s trying to control her temper. She hates it when I talk back, will usually remind me I’ve become too westernized. Still, she rallies on, forcing a smile. “Well, I’m sure it was just first-day jitters. It’s not at all like you to be cowed by other kids. I know you: you’ll learn to fit in just fine.”

“Not sure if I want to fit in with this bunch.”

The corners of her mouth twist down. “Kiki—” she sighs.

But I can’t deal with her, not right now. So much resentment is festering in me. My entire head is pounding, my heartbeat a constant rhythm ofAll her fault, all her fault.I mean, I just got called “crazy,” for god’s sake. Who does that? “I’m going up to shower,” I say, interrupting Mami. Then the guilt overcomes me and I add, “But thanks for the cheesecake and the latte.” Before Mami can argue, I hurry up the stairs andbreathe a sigh of relief only when I’m inside my bedroom. No doubt Mami is going to complain about this whole exchange to Papi, and then they’ll both tell me off for being rude to my elders blah blah blah.

Just then, my phone beeps. It’s the Discord notification tone, which makes me jerk straight up and snatch my phone out of my pocket.

Sourdawg:How was your first day at the new school? Survived it?

I suddenly understand the saying “My spirits lifted,” because everything inside me feels a little less heavy at this. Smiling, I type out a response.

Dudebro10:I’m literally flopped all over my floor, that’s how soul-sucking my new school was

Sourdawg:Haha, what was so bad abt it?

Dudebro10:Where do I even begin? OK, first of all, there’s this ass in my class who’s, like, this ridiculous misogynist.

I pause. I almost said that Jonas was sexist toward me, but that would be giving myself away.

Dudebro10:There’s a new girl in our class and he called her “crazy”

Sourdawg:Srsly?

Dudebro10:Right? I mean, it’s not just me? That’s pretty freaking offensive?

Sourdawg:It’s not just you. I would’ve called him out on it. What did the girl do?

Dudebro10:She told him where to stick it, basically. And she was, like, “Next time you wanna talk shit about me, do it to my face.”

Sourdawg:OK I’m kind of falling for her

I abruptly take my fingers off the keyboard and stare at the screen, my face tingling. Ugh, I hate this feeling. So slimy. I’m literally talking about myself in the third person to my online bestie. That’s super creepy, right? But what else can I do? And after the events of the day, I really wanted to talk to Sourdawg about it, even more so than to my WhatsApp group. Maybe because I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t react like one of those guys. I already know how Cassie and Shar would react. They’d explode into indignant cries of “How dare he mistreat you, Queen?”

Dudebro10:Haha, dork

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