Page 25 of Heart Like a Cowboy

“Alana,” Audrey repeated, her gray eyes brightening a little. “That’s the cute blonde who used to moon over you?”

Egan frowned. “She mooned over Jack.”

“Later she did, after you showed no interest in her,” Audrey was quick to point out.

Egan had shown no interest in Alana because Jack had told Egan he had plans to ask her out. That had made Alana off-limits. Too bad those off-limit lines were now blurring.

“Alana married Jack,” Egan added, though he was positive Audrey remembered that. Even if Audrey hadn’t been around for the wedding, she would have recalled Jack’s spouse when she learned of his death.

At the mention of Jack’s name, Audrey studied him as if he were a specimen under a lab slide. Probably checking to see if he had a raging case of PTSD. That’s the label Audrey would likely put on it, anyway, but it was a particular label that Egan despised since it was way too vague for him personally. His baggage was guilt and grief, a whole boatload of it, and if Audrey gave him the once-over another three years from now, Egan was certain those two things would still be there.

“Where’s Grammy Effie?” he asked to cut through the silence.

“She went to vending to get some coffee,” his dad explained, checking the time. “She’s been gone a while so I guess she wanted to give Audrey and me a little time.”

“I only just got here about a half hour ago,” Audrey tacked on to that. She, too, checked the time on the phone that she had gripped in her hand. A phone that dinged, causing her to frown. “Sorry, but I have to take this. I won’t be long,” she assured them, and she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

His dad gave him the once-over, too, but it didn’t feel as scrutinizing as Audrey’s had been. “You know that thing people put on social media about their relationship status?” his dad asked.

Egan definitely hadn’t been expecting the question. Until it dawned on him where this was going. “You mean, it’s complicated?”

“That’s the one.” His dad aimed his index finger at him to indicate Bingo. “Well, that’s how it is between Audrey and me, and I can see you’re worried about it. Worried that her being here will stress me out at a time when I’m not supposed to be stressing.”

Egan hadn’t been expecting this conversation, either, but he welcomed it. “Will her being here stress you?” he pressed.

“No.” His answer was quick and sounded resolved enough. “Just the opposite. I’m glad to see her. Glad she could get away long enough to come home.”

Home. That was a term that Egan applied to the ranch and Emerald Creek, but he wondered if Audrey had ever felt that way about it.

“Like I said, it’s complicated,” his dad went on. “After your mom died, Audrey helped pull me out of a deep depression. Of course, you kids helped, too, but there was a lot of worry for all of you since I wasn’t sure if you could deal with losing your mom. I didn’t have to worry about Audrey. She was always so sure of herself, and that meant all I had to do was love her.”

Egan could understand that. Partly, anyway. But that kind of relationship agreement felt like only part of a package. Half of a letter. Definitely not the whole shebang that most couples wanted or had when they said their I dos.

“That’s what I want for all my kids,” his dad went on. “Someone who’ll love you and pull you out of the dark.”

Well, when he put it that way, some of that “half package” theory faded a bit. But Egan still didn’t think he could do what his father was doing.

The door opened, capping off the conversation when a smiling Audrey came in with Dr. Abrams who was pushing a wheelchair.

“I just need to do a quick check of your dad’s vitals,” Dr. Abrams said, “and then he’ll be good to go.”

“I thought I’d ride back with Audrey,” his dad quickly interjected, aiming his remark at Egan, “and you’d be able to take Effie back.”

After what his dad had just told him, Egan couldn’t fault him for wanting to spend time with the woman he loved, but it did sting a little. The sting was short-lived, though. After all, he hadn’t been the dutiful, diligent son. It’d taken a massive heart attack to get Egan to spend more than his usual “less than twelve hours” a month at the ranch and with his dad.

“I’ll find Effie,” Egan let them know, and he headed out in search of the vending machines.

He didn’t have to go that far, though, because he spotted Effie just up in the hall. She was having a conversation with a couple of the nurses, and one of them handed her a flyer before she stepped away and started toward him.

“Derek’s ready to go home?” she asked.

He nodded. “Dad’s riding with Audrey, and you’re with me.”

Effie’s sigh was short and barely noticeable, but it confirmed to Egan that she, too, was worried if this visit would take its toll on his dad. Effie sighed again when she looked at the paper one of the nurses had given her, and then she passed it to him.

Egan had seen this before. It was the flyer for Jack’s life celebration, but it had been amended. Instead of sayinga memorial painting for Jack will be unveiled by our own Top Gun hometown hero, Lieutenant Colonel Egan Donnelly, it simply readthere’ll be an unveiling of a life celebration painting, dedicated to Jack.

And that gave him another slug of guilt.

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