Page 46 of Heart Like a Cowboy

It did some sinking in for her, too. Her argument with Jack may or may not have led to his death, and while that was something that she’d have to deal with for the rest of her life, it did no good to let it consume her.

“We also need to blame the IED,” she went on. “And the person or persons who put it there. Heck, the driver of the vehicle could have played a part in what happened, too. Or how about the crews who should have better checked that area to make sure it was safe enough to travel?”

His eye contact morphed into a flat look. “If you’re hoping to make me feel better, it’s not working.”

“I didn’t figure it would,” she said, her voice suddenly as weary as his. “But maybe that’s the point. That nothing we say or do will make us feel better.”

“That didn’t mean I had to dump that on Tilly,” he snarled. “I didn’t have to hurt her like that.”

“I suspect keeping the truth from her hurt you,” she was quick to point out.

But there was nosuspectto it. Alana knew there’d been hurt not only over what had happened but also because not everyone knew why Jack had been where he’d ended up dying.

As Egan had obviously learned, though, that truth hadn’t set him free.

“Have you spoken to Tilly today?” he asked.

Alana shook her head. “I tried to text her earlier, but she didn’t respond.” And that was her cue to try again.

She took out her phone from her purse and fired off a quick text.Just checking to see if you’re all right, she messaged, and then waited for a reply. There wasn’t an immediate one, which continued to be odd for the woman since she was usually very prompt at staying in touch.

Even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, Alana had to ask. “Did you mention Jack’s affair? Or that Jack would have been distracted because of the argument I had with him about his sidepiece?”

He both shook his head and muttered a “No.”

So, Tilly hadn’t gotten a double whammy, which was probably good. “I intend to tell Tilly that Jack and I argued during our last phone call. I want to come clean, too. Or rather partially clean, anyway. There’s no reason for her to know Jack cheated. I can just tell her we’d argued and leave it at that.”

Egan huffed. “There’s no reason for you to say anything at all.”

Alana returned the flat stare he’d been giving her while she put her phone back in her purse, which she set on the foyer table. “No reason other than it could give her a better picture of Jack’s state of mind when he died.”

Egan opened his mouth, no doubt to argue, but he must have realized this whole discussion was a little like a warped spin of the old cliché, what’s bad for the goose is bad for the gander. He hadn’t wanted Alana to take on even a smidge of guilt or blame. He’d put that all on himself.

She didn’t point out that was heroic. Not when he already was fuming and beating himself up. Alana did go to him, though, and despite the risk of it, she pulled him into her arms for what she hoped would be a comforting hug.

It wasn’t.

The muscles in his chest and arms turned to iron. He seemed to hold his breath, too. So, clearly not a comfort, but when she started to pull away, Egan put a stop to that. He hooked his tense arms around her and held her in place.

Alana looked up at him, hoping he was about to kiss her, but instead he seemed to be having a fierce battle with his willpower. Unfortunately, the willpower seemed to be winning, too. And just like that day in the truck, she did something about it.

She kissed him.

And there it was. No mere tingle, not this. It was a full-impact kiss that seemed to jump straight from first base to a grand slam. His mouth was just as hard as the rest of him and, oh, so hungry. It seemed as if he was taking out all his frustrations, and pent-up needs, in the kiss.

Within a blink, he deepened the kiss even more, and he tightened his grip as if to make sure she didn’t let go. If Alana could have spoken, which she couldn’t, she would have told him she had no intention of going away. This, right here in his arms, was exactly where she wanted to be.

Egan, though, clearly had some “going away” intentions. Not away from her but to the back of the door where he anchored her while the kiss raged on. Everything suddenly seemed desperate, urgent and completely vital for survival.

Egan kept taking, kept deepening. Alana also fulfilled a few fantasies by sliding her hands over the tightly corded muscles in his back. Yes, definitely a fantasy fulfilled. The man was built.

She just kept on testing waters by pulling him closer and closer until that incredible chest of his was pressed against her breasts. Her breasts and all the rest of her applauded the contact.

And wanted more.

That was the problem with fueling fantasies and making out with a hot guy. The body wanted to take things up a notch and the stupid parts of her were begging for her to throw caution to the wind and drag Egan to the floor for some down and dirty sex.

Judging from Egan’s intensity, he might have been considering the same caution-throwing. He ran his hand between them and touched. Just touched, running his thumb over her nipple and cupping her right breast. He was surprisingly gentle, considering the need was now sky-high and hot as fire.

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