Page 57 of Forget Me Not

Me: I’ll definitely let you know. And I’m sorry, again, that I had to cancel.

Tyler: No worries. Shit happens.

I leave our conversation on that note, and when I swipe out of our text exchange, I see a notification from the Siren’s Call app. Considering I’ve disabled alerts for prospective clients, I know it’s a message, and I know exactly who it’s from—the only person I talk to on the app.

Sinking back in the tub, I cautiously hold my phone in the air above the water. A smile spreads across my face as I read the kind words sent early this morning from the friend I’ve never met.

HawkEye: I’ve been slacking with daily reminders, but here is one for today: Your strength is untouchable, and your beauty can be seen by the blind.

I’m not sure who this guy is, but no one has ever said such romantic words to me before. If his goal is to really just make me smile and feel better about life, it’s working.

Wildcat: You always say the right things at the right time. Thank you for that.

Considering he sent the message this morning, I’m surprised when his response is immediate.

HawkEye: I’m only speaking the truth. How are you doing? Have you settled into your new home?

Wildcat: Barely. But I don’t want to burden you with my misfortunes. How are you?

HawkEye: I’m doing well. Also just moved. I’m finding the new town to be…inviting. But, please. Talk to me about what’s going on. Everyone needs someone to vent to. Who better than a complete stranger? LOL

The fact that he used the abbreviation LOL makes me feel so much more at ease. It’s proof that he’s not a total robot and there is a human behind these messages. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if I’m just talking to a horny old man or, worse, a teenager. Which he very well could be.

I don’t know HawkEye, and as far as I know, he’s never been a client of mine. But there’s no harm in talking if it makes me feel better. He’s right when he said everyone needs someone to vent to. I’ve never had that someone, until now.

So I let it all out in one very detailed message…

Wildcat: Life is just really hard. Then again, I don’t remember a time when it was easy. I want nothing more than to leave the past behind me and start a new life as someone worthy of actually living. I moved to this town hoping it would be the place to do just that. But my past followed me here in the form of an obsessed man who is threatening and stalking me. I’ve finally made a friend, and this psycho has basically forbidden me to see him. He says if I leave, he’ll find me. But I have to at least try to get away from him. Right? I can’t just roll over and let him win. Even if that means I’ll live in fear of him showing up everywhere I go.

After I hit send, I set the phone back on the lid of the toilet because I need a second to clear my head. I can’t believe I just told him all that. I’ve never opened up to anyone about anything in my life. Especially nothing thatreal.

My heart is pounding with nervousness as I contemplate what his response will be. Does he think I want pity? That’s the furthest thing from the truth. Will he think I’m asking him for help? That’s not the case either.

I don’t know why I told him what’s going on. As I sit here, soaking in the water that’s turned cold, I wish like hell I could take it back.

My phone beeps and I jolt with anticipation. Staring at my device for a minute, I finally decide to get out of the bathtub so I don’t drown myself out of sheer disgrace. This sort of stuff doesn't happen to normal people.

Stepping one foot out on the plush bath mat, then the other, I grab a towel off the rack behind the toilet and wrap it around my body, tucking in the corner to hold it in place. With my head held back, I wring the excess water from my hair then roll it up and secure it with a clip. I take my time, scared with every move I make that when I look at that message, another person in my life will disappoint me.

Then, after one deep breath, I pick up my phone.

HawkEye: Have you ever considered the possibility that running away will only make matters worse? Maybe it’s time to stop running and face your troubles head-on. You might be surprised to find that life is more peaceful when you don’t leave behind unfinished business.

I’m not sure why his message irritates me the way it does. It’s not insensitive, but it is at the same time.

Wildcat: Are you saying I should stay and allow this man to dictate my life?

HawkEye: Is that truly what he’s doing, or is he trying to protect you from something that is out of your control? Maybe you should try asking him before jumping to conclusions, and/or running.

Wildcat: I can’t believe you’re siding with this psycho!

Before I can rethink my response, I hit send, immediately wishing I could take it back. I really need to stop making rash decisions.

HawkEye: Don’t get upset. I’m always on your side. How about we talk about something else to get your mind off all the stress around you? Tell me one attainable thing you want right now.

Wildcat: That’s a loaded question. It’s impossible to narrow it down to one thing. I’d love to get an education of some sort. Even if it’s just my GED to start with.

HawkEye: I like that. I think you should do it.

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