Page 33 of Forget Me Not

“I moved back to Lockhaven at the end of the summer after my ex-girlfriend and I split up. We had an apartment in the city and we were both attending Harmond University.Came home from a late class and found my best friend in my bed with her. Haven’t talked to either of them since.”

My heart hurts for him. “Shit, Tyler. I’m so sorry.”

These are the things I’m thankful I missed out on. The sting of a heartbreak. The pain of losing friends. I’ve put a shield around myself for that very reason.

“Don’t be. I’m not. I’m just glad I found out before I proposed to her.”

“Proposed.” I gasp. “You’re only twenty-one years old.”

His shoulders rise, caging in his neck. “We were together since I was sixteen. I loved her. She was all I really knew, so keeping her made sense. We grew up together and learned about life away from our family together. It just made sense at the time.”

Hearing Tyler talk about his ex proves just how virtuous he is. I’ve never in my life met someone so real. I’ve traveled to every state in the U.S. and of all the people I’ve met, Tyler is probably the sincerest.

It’s proof that he’s too good for me. I shouldn’t even be sitting in this truck with him right now—he shouldn't want me here. I’m a fraud. A common whore. And Tyler is everything that is good in this world.

“If you ask me,” I say faintly. “You’re better off without a girl like that in your life.”

My lips press into a thin line as I gaze out the passenger window at the passing fields. The next thing I know, Tyler’s hand is resting over mine on my lap. When I turn to look at him, I see the cracked smile on his face. “Thanks, Rhea.”

I let my hand sit beneath his as eagerness dampens my palms. My heart swells and warmth travels through my veins. It’s a new feeling, but one I think I kinda like. Is this what it’s like to have a crush?

We drive in a comfortable sort of silence with me fearful to move because I want him to keep holding my hand. It makes me feel safe and adored, and it's the sort of affection I didn't know I ever wanted. I guess it’s normal; everyone wants to feel wanted at some point. It’s a human instinct. We crave that powerful force inside us that says we are good enough.

That’s how Tyler makes me feel. Like I could open up to him, tell him all my secrets. And he would still hold my hand.

Maybe it’s just wishful thinking—hoping that one day someone would know the real me and still want to know more.

An array of headlights come into view, just before I see the blaze of a fire stretching to the sky. I straighten my back and Tyler pulls his hand away to steady the wheel. My hand feels cold without his presence, but I’m glad he’s getting us down this narrow dirt road safely.

Cars come and go as we travel down over the rough terrain of the road. There’s a wide-open space surrounded by woods and a fire smack-dab in the middle, where a crowd is gathered.

“What is this place?” I ask in awe, looking out at the array of people and cars.

“Cedar Hills. It’s part of the national forest in the middle of nowhere, where we can be as loud and as obnoxious as we want.” The grin that splits his face is full of joy and just a touch of mischievousness.

“I’ve never seen anything like it.” Adrenaline races through my veins as I take in all the possibilities for the night.

It’s wondrous and exciting. People my age dancing and laughing, not a care in the world. There are couples holding hands and friends dancing, all while laughing and having the time of their lives. It’s funny how you don’t know what you’re missing until it sits right in front of you, lighting up the night sky like a beacon for your soul.

I’ve watched a lot of television and read many books. I know what people my age do for fun, but it was something I pretended was make-believe. As I look at the crowd and their unending joy, the realization that I could have experienced so much more in life hits me like a ton of bricks.

I sit there in stunned silence, even after Tyler opens the door for me. He tilts his head in question then looks to the party.

“You still feel like playing it unsafe?”

I look from him to the fire. Every instinct in my body tells me not to do it. This feels like a place for the lawless. A place where anything could happen, but also anything could go wrong. I should shut the door and ask him to drive me back to the thing I know will keep me safe. Hiding.

But that’s not what I do. When Tyler raises his hand, I take it and leap from the truck, landing on a bed of raised dirt. My sneakers dig into the rigid grooves of the trail, and instantly, I’m hit with the thump of the bass blasting from some speakers on the back of a tailgate.

Like a child on Christmas morning, my eyes light up as they dance in amazement from one scene to the next. Some girls dream of fairy tales, where the knight comes to save them and fairies fly around. But me, this is what I think I’ve craved since I was a child. Freedom in the chaos.

I follow, my hand still settled firmly in Tyler’s, as we walk toward the crowd. Every few people we pass, he gets a high five, or “What’s up, man?” It’s the small-town attention I’d expect him to get in a place like Lockhaven.

“Are you nervous?” Tyler asks, placing a hand on the small of my back as he leads me toward wherever we’re headed.

“No,” I tell him truthfully. “Should I be?”

“Nah. Not even a little bit. I guess you’re probably used to meeting new people often with all the moving you did growing up, huh?”

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