Page 90 of Forget Me Not

His sweaty chest rests on my back, his breath hot and heavy. “I love hearing you say my name.”

I drop down, letting him collapse on top of me. We lie there for a few minutes while Alaric strokes his fingers through my hair. “I love you, Rhea. More than you’ll ever know.”

My heart swells and I find comfort in his words, but then I remember that the one person who told me they loved me is gone. The only people I love in this world are no longer here.

“You shouldn’t,” I finally say. “The more you love, the more you suffer when it’s gone.”

Alaric rolls off me until he’s lying by my side. I turn to look at him and he puts a thumb under my chin.

“Hey,” he says in a forthright tone. “Love is more than just a feeling to mourn because you’ve loved and lost.” He strokes a hand through my hair, as if he can fathom the amount I’ve lost in my life and wants to make up for it.

“It’s more than just the good times too, Rhea. It’s a lot of sacrifices, a thousand arguments with no resolution. It’s rough days and good days. Storms and sunshine. Love is about trust and compromise, even though you’ll always be right and I’ll always be wrong. And I’m okay with that.”

A small smile tugs at my lips while tears sting the corners of my eyes and I swallow hard, fighting like hell not to break down into a blubbery mess.

His warm fingers graze my cheek as his penetrating eyes gaze deeply at me. “Just because the people you love are no longer here, doesn’t mean you don’t still feel the emotions they gave you. I love you, Rhea, and I’ll love you until the day I die. My only hope is that I’ll be reborn into the same universe as you so I can love you all over again.”

“It hurts, Alaric. It hurts so much that I don’t want to feel it again. I’ve lost so much,” I tell him through strained vocal cords.

“And you still have so much more to gain. Don’t let the past scare you away from your future. I’m not going anywhere, Rhea. I think I’ve made that very clear. I am someone you can trust to fight at your side.”

There’s a beat of silence before I finally smile and say, “Who the hell are you and where did you come from?” Alaric is such an enigma. This man has put me through hell. Yet, the same hands that pushed me, pulled me out of the fire and led me into the light. I’ve never felt so adored. So safe. So loved.

He chuckles before his expression grows serious. “I’m your HawkEye, and you’re my Wildcat.”

My body jerks upright as my elbow digs into the softness of the mattress. My mouth falls open while my breath catches in my throat.

"What did you just say?" I tumble over my words in confusion and shock. "You're…HawkEye?"

How did I not see this?

In less than a second I go from sated bliss to utter confusion. I’m second-guessing everything about myself. I’ve always considered myself to be a very intuitive person. You have to be to survive the shit I did. But, this…this is something Ineversaw coming.

“I wanted to tell you that first night at Taryn’s, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”He looks at me like this is a simple conversation. As if he didn’t just flip some fundamental part of me upside down. I should have known when I got that damn computer.

I sit all the way up, staring off at the wall as I wrap my head around this. I’m not angry, surprisingly. I’m almost relieved because I was starting to worry that HawkEye was following me after he sent that package.

“You should have just told me,” I tell him with a disappointed shake of my head.

“Believe me, I wanted to. But HawkEye was my way of talking to you without aggression and judgment. I know I come off strong in person and you didn’t trust me—you couldn’t. But you trusted him, you felt safe with him. He was my alter ego that gained access to your life and your thoughts.”

My face drops in my hands and Alaric sits up to trail his fingers up and down my back. “How pissed are you?” he asks, a bite of worry in his tone.

I drop my hands and turn around on the bed until I’m facing him. “I’m not pissed,” I say honestly. “I’m actually glad it was you.”

His eyebrows shoot to his forehead. “Seriously? I thought for sure I’d be eating my teeth the minute you found out.”

“That’s still up for debate, but not over this. So the GED enrollment and the laptop, that was you?”

He nods and I immediately throw my arms around his neck, feeling the scratch of his chest hair against my breasts. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It's just the beginning of making all your dreams come true.” I can feel the way he believes in me to the depths of my soul. It might be strange to think that in only a week or so this man changed me, but it’s been so much longer than that.

HawkEye wormed his way into my life a long time ago. And I’m starting to see all the ways Alaric has been there for me. He never ran away, even when things got hard.

I take his face in my trembling hands and press my lips to his while a flood of emotions consumes me. I can feel it all—everything I fought not to feel for so long stirs in my chest like a violent storm just before the rainbow.

ChapterTwenty-Eight

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