Page 56 of Taking Chances

Vance reached out for me, as though to set his palm against my cheek, but I couldn’t stand the thought of his touch. I smacked his hand away before he could make contact. He sighed but dropped his arm without trying again. “It’s not like that.”

“Of course it is.” I took a step away from them and looked down, because the sight of them was too damn painful. It felt like having to watch my entire world fall apart around me, as what I wanted most dissolved, falling like sand between my fingers.

“You could have died,” Char said, his voice strangely empty. “When you jumped off that motorcycle, you could have died. I don’t want to lose you, but it’s better you have a good life somewhere else than you die here.”

“Youcould have died!” My voice rose, and I didn’t give a damn that it had turned almost hysterical. Sure, I didn’t love the idea of Nem or the Quad seeing this mess, but I couldn’t stop myself. This might be my last chance to talk to the men I was hopelessly in love with, after all. “Lorien had a gun. He almost shot Hayden through the door in the office. He could have shot any of you from that bike. You want to sit there and say this, but any of you could have died, too! I know you don’t value your lives, but I do, yet I’m still here. In fact, the odds of you getting seriously hurt are far higher than mine, since Lorien doesn’t give a damn if you live but he wants me to survive.”

The reality of what we’d faced off again, of what had happened, hit me. They were so damn worried about me, but they didn’t really understand what I wanted at all, did they? They hadn’t ever really accepted or heard me.

It made me want to collapse, to scream, to doanythingto make my voice finally heard.

No one listened to me. No one ever heard me. I was some ghost in my own life, drifting through the world with no agency. They all did what they felt was best, treating me like some delicate toy put high on a shelf for my own safety.

And Ihatedit.

I took another step backward, ready to leave. I didn’t want to bring anything with me, couldn’t stand the idea of another moment here. Anything I took would only remind me of what I’d lost, would break my heart all over again each time I saw it.

“Don’t leave like this,” Hayden said, his voice almost desperate. “We’re going to deal with Lorien. I swear he won’t be a problem for you, no matter what.”

“You think I care about that?” I shook my head, unable to stop the tears anymore. They ran down my cheeks, burning like acid. “You’ll do whatever you want no matter what—you always have.” I glanced around the yard, toward the house, so many memories swamping me.

I’d lived in so many places in my life, moved from one to another, to wherever was convenient. None of those places had ever felt like home. Hell, I’d started to think no such feeling existed, that people just made it up, that no one felt that relaxing, welcome sense of where they lived as being important.

Yet I’d found that feeling here for the first time. Maybe it hadn’t started that way, but it’d turned into that eventually. Over my time here, it had turned into that welcoming place where I could let down my guard and relax. It wasn’t the house that had caused it, and no matter how hurt I was right now, I couldn’t deny the truth.

It had been the way Hayden fussed over me, the way he always watched out for me. It was Vance’s flirtatious nature, the way he made my heart race. It was how Tor’s silent company eased me, and the rare smiles he gave me. It was even Char’s teasing and the quiet bits of kindness he gave out, even if he would never dare acknowledge or admit to them.

That had made this place special to me, yet here I was, thrown out of it, cast out of the only place that I’d ever truly wanted to stay.

“If I’d known just how much this had hurt…” I whispered, then dared one last look at them. “I wish I’d never come here at all. I wish I’d never tried to make a life for myself. If it was going to end up like this, with me finally finding a place where I was happy only to have it taken away, I wish I’d never known it was even possible.”

All my attempts to keep some sort of control went out of the window with that, and my legs gave out as my tears came faster, turning into broken sobs. Strong arms caught me, but one inhalation told me it wasn’tmymen.

Not mine anymore, are they?Hell, I guess they never really were.

“Come on, Kenz, let’s go.” Dane’s voice made me cry harder, as though it reminded me that I’d truly lost the men I loved. He hugged me to his familiar chest, then pulled at me. I followed his lead, letting him guide me.

Of all the ways I thought this might end, I never once thought they’d just throw me out.

But I should have, right? This is how it always goes for me…

Nem

Colton’s voice in my ear before we’d arrived, telling me, ‘Don’t kill anyone,’rang in my head as I stared at the men who had just made my sister cry.

Dane had walked her out, and no doubt was already on his way to the hotel room we had booked in town. We’d taken two cars to ensure we could all fit comfortably and to accommodate anything Kenz needed to bring with her. However, Kenz hadn’t seemed to want to bring anything with her.

The men were less impressive than I’d have thought, given they’d somehow not only managed to get my sister—who hadn’t shown much interest in anyone—to fall for them but also got her this upset.

For that, I’d expected models or men who were larger than life. Instead, they appeared disappointingly normal.

In fact, I doubted I’d have looked twice if I’d run across them in public.

“You must be Nem,” came the familiar voice I’d heard over the phone.

I turned my attention to the man who spoke, the oldest of the group, dark eyes at least implying he had some brains on him. “You’re Hayden, the one who called me.”

He nodded, then gestured at the other men, telling me their names one at a time. We’d arrived here without a great deal of information, since getting here had been first in my priorities.

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