Her response took me by surprise. Kenz tended to let things like that go, to stay quiet even when she didn’t agree.
“I’m helping you here, Kenz, even if you don’t see it. You’re mistaking the fact that you’re trapped with us for love. That’s it.”
She shook her head. “I know how I feel. I’m not some idiot.”
“You’re still young,” Hayden said, his tone unbelievably kind.
“I’m not that young,” she argued. “Don’t treat me like I’m just some kid.”
“You’re twenty-one—” Hayden started.
“No, I’m actually nineteen, and so what? Why does that matter? Why do you think that my age has anything to do with how I feel?”
“You’re going through a tough time,” Vance said. “This situation would mess with anyone’s head. We’re all you’ve got right now, so you’re clinging to us and seeing things that aren’t there. That’s it.”
She pressed her lips together, her gaze on the table instead of us. Would she cry?
It wouldn’t be the first time I’d made a girl cry, but I had a feel it might just be the only time I gave a damn. A part of me wanted to take it all back, but I couldn’t. This was a small pain now to stop a larger one later.
I recalled after Isla died, the hole I found myself in. I’d been so lost in that darkness, with no idea how to get out of it. The pain had been unbearable, and the last thing I wanted was for Kenz to feel that after this ended.
This was to save her real pain later.
Kenz inhaled deeply, then pulled her shoulders back. Seeing her like that reminded me of her real past, of the truth of her parentage. This wasn’t a nobody, but rather the product of two of the most dangerous, feared and respected families in the country. She’d grown up like that, came from that stock, and when she sat there like that? I saw it.
“Don’t you dare try to tell me how I feel. You can control what I do, you can lock me up and keep me trapped and overpower me. What I will never allow you to do is tell me that I don’t feel what I know I do. You can’t belittle me and treat me like a child. My feelings are my own, and, to be fair, I never intended to tell you. I knew you wouldn’t accept it let alone return it, so I never planned to let you see it. If you want to tell me that you don’t feel the same—fine. That’s your right. However, don’t youdareact like I don’t know my own mind or my own heart.” She met my gaze head on, as if daring me to argue with her.
She was right, though. Even if I didn’t think what she felt was really love, I couldn’t convince her of it. The best I could do was make her give up on it, to realize it was pointless, that it wouldn’t go anywhere.
So I forced myself to pull on another mask, that of a man who saw her as nothing but a nuisance. I stared back at her, not giving her an inch of space to doubt my words. “Fair enough. If you want to hold on to unrequited love, that’s your choice, I guess. Understand that I don’t feel the same, and that I won’t ever.”
She swallowed hard, then turned her gaze toward Vance.
He sighed, looking far less sure even as he spoke. “This isn’t going anywhere, love. You’re sweet and you’re fun, but that’s all there is to it.”
Hayden rubbed his hands over his face, and when he pulled them away, the misery was obvious. “You’re still a kid. You’rewaytoo young for anything serious, and I don’t play around with kids.”
She blinked quickly, darting her gaze to Tor for a moment. He said nothing, didn’t reach for his phone, but whatever she saw in his gaze must have told her what she needed to know.
I expected her to break down, to start sobbing, to call us all names.
We’d fucking deserve that and worse. Hell, if she wanted to slap me across the face, I’d take it. I wouldn’t move away, wouldn’t try to lessen it. If that made her feel better, fair enough.
She didn’t, though. She used her napkin to wipe her mouth, then set it on the table and stood, her chair scraping against the floor quietly. “Thank you for dinner—it was delicious. I think I’m going to call it an early night.”
Hayden opened his mouth, but before anything escaped, he shut it again.
Nothing any of us said right now would make this any better.
She kept her chin held high, as if her pride was all she had left, and walked out of the room.Talk about regal.Somehow, she didn’t look like she was fleeing, but instead like she’d had enough of our shit and made the choice to walk away.
That was what we’d wanted, wasn’t it? We’d wanted to drive her away, to make her understand there was no chance with us, to make everything hurt her less later on.
So why the fuck did getting exactly what I wanted hurt so damned much?
Chapter Three
Vance