“Everything?”
“I see the way you two are around each other. You complete each other in a way that you never did with, well, you know.”
I thought about his observation. I only had moments to decide what I was going to do. I could continue standing there, lamenting her drive away from me, or go after her and try my hardest to convince her to stay. I knew how I felt about her and if I told her that and she still left I didn’t think it would be possible for me to ever recover. The dust cloud she’d made in her haste to leave me was settling, and the decision was made.
Jogging towards them, I told him “Thanks,” before pulling myself up into the saddle and galloping down the driveway. I didn’t know exactly what I was going to tell her, but I knew one thing for certain. I wasn’t going to let her leave without saying something.
Cisco must have felt my urgency, as we flew through the paddocks like our lives depended on it. Though, maybe the future did depend on that moment, on if we could catch her. Cisco didn’t want to slow down as we reached a low point in the fence, and I was absolutely fine with that. I raised myself a little and hunched over his neck as he vaulted over the fence and onto the flat land before us. I’d made a beeline straight for the furthest point on the main road, but I couldn’t see the dust cloud to tell me she’d been here. Nor was there one approaching.
I turned Cisco and we were soon galloping next to the road, headed for home. Maybe she’d turned around? Maybe she’d already been past this point, and I’d missed her. Either way, I wasn’t going to risk it if she hadn’t come past yet.
That’s when I caught sight of her. Van’s car was stopped at the entrance of the drive. The indicator was on, but despite the lack of traffic, it didn’t move. I slowed Cisco, jumping off him and opening the door before he’d even stopped.
Sienna’s tear-filled eyes turned to me. She sobbed openly at the sight of me, tears tracking down her cheeks, with still more coming. I knelt unclipping the seatbelt then wrapped my arms around her and hauled her half onto my lap.
With her in my arms again, I pressed my lips to her hair. “I told you I wasn’t finished talking with you.”
“There’s nothing left to—”
Gripping her even tighter, I cut her off. “No. You had your chance to talk, and I listened. Now it’s your turn to listen to me.”
“Okay,” she muttered softly, her eyes opened wide as she looked up at me, eyes still glassy with unshed tears.
“I don’t want you to leave. Whatever this thing is between us, it’s real for me. It scares me how real it actually is. I’ve never felt anything even close to this before. There is no way I’m going to let it fall through my fingers without doing everything possible to keep it. Isn’t that what you want? Or was this all just a game? Did you play me from the very start?”
“What? Of course not. It wasn’t a game at all. It’s 100 percent real on my end.”
“But you don’t believe it’s real on my end. Is that it?”
“I never said that.” Her voice was even, but more tears shone in her eyes.
“Then tell me what you need me to say. Tell me what you need to hear to believe me.”
Her voice was a strangled sob. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to tell you that I fell for you that first minute, when you told me you could be a serial killer? Then fine. It’s the truth. From that moment you had me falling for you. Then when we were in the barn and I first kissed you, I was cast even further under your spell.”
Her eyes scanned my face, then reaching up, she stroked my jaw. “Oh, Ryder.”
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, while my heart thundered in my chest, I continued, “How about the first time I made love to you? I was 100 percent lost to you. I’m yours, Sienna, my heart belongs to you.”
Tears streamed from her beautiful blue eyes, and I swiped them away with my thumbs. “Please. You have no idea how much this is breaking my heart already.” Her body shook as her sobs became harsher.
This was it. The moment that would either make her come back to the house with me or leave for good. It was now or never. Could I tell her that four letter word? Or not? The chance of her walking away was too great. I wouldn’t recover if I told her I loved her, and she didn’t tell me back. Or worse, she laughed or said nothing at all. So, I decided against it. “You think mine isn’t breaking too? I feel like I can’t breathe at the thought of never seeing you again. At never being able to hold you in my arms and kiss you whenever I want to.”
In the end, nothing I said made a lick of difference, because she still slipped from my arms and drove away. Taking my heart with her.