Page 81 of She Wolf

“Because when you were just a baby, I promised that I would always be the best big sister I could be. Tell me and I’ll try and help you.”

“I don’t think you can, you’re gonna think I’m a dickhead for even saying it.”

“I won’t. Do I think you’re an asshole seventy percent of the time? Sure, but when you think you are that’s a different story.”

He checks around to see if any of the others can hear us and the words that fall out of his mouth are barely audible. “It doesn’t feel right.”

“What doesn’t?” I can feel my forehead crease as I ask.

“Playin’ for the Wolves, experiencing the play off’s…We’re headed to the beach house in my off season from the goddamn NHL,” he whispers. “I can’t stop thinkin’ about what’s missin’.”

I place my hand on my heart unconsciously. “Oh, Knox. Have you ever thought about reaching out.”

“Fuck, I would never do that.” His eyes narrow and his fists clench.

“I’m not bein’ spoiled or actin’ like it’s not enough. It’s not that, I swear, it’s just that

before all the shit went down it was meant to be me and Wr—” He cuts himself off and shakes his head.

“Fuck I thought I’d let it all go, and now that I’m livin’ my dream, it’s just really hit me all over again.”

That, is a little white lie right there. Anyone who spent any real time around him

knew that what happened in between high school and college hurt him, but that’s his story to tell.

“Knox, it was more than just experiencing your first heartbreak you two were so—”

He interrupts me, swiftly changing the subject to something less painful. “And then there’s the whole Jason thing. Can you imagine us playing together, imagine him being on the ice with us?” I see the hard part of the conversation is done so I internally shake my head and just go with it.

“I can and it’s exciting. Even when he was drafted to Winnipeg it was an honor. Three brothers drafted into the NHL. Have you ever heard of anything so crazy?”

He smiles. “We are a pretty elite bunch, what the hell happened to you?”

“Oh wow, see,nowI think you’re a dickhead.” I smile up at him and when I try to kiss his cheek, he palms at my face pushing me away.

***

Chickie’s and Pete’s was worth the hype. All the boys had eaten here a few times before, but it seems Adam and Callan—well mainly Adam—are die-hard fans. It’s your typical sports bar with dark wood, tv screens blaring a Phillies game, red booths and brown tables, and a large, fully stocked bar.

The manager ushers some servers to get us seated quickly and all together and then turns to Adam. “It’s nice to have you boys here. Why didn’t you let me know you were in town? I’d have had a few things ready for you.”

“You would have?” Adam’s eyebrows shoot through his hairline. I’m not sure why he’s so surprised, if this was anywhere in New York he’d be treated like sports royalty.

“Yeah course, it’s not really your fault you play for the Wolves now, is it?” the manager jokes, and Adam looks pleased as punch.

“I run a sports bar; you don’t think I know it’s you two when you come in on away games,” he winks as he shakes Callan’s hand.

He goes off to get us some drinks while I sit and try to take the menu in. Eventually when it’s my turn to order I chose the crab fries on Adam’s recommendation and the warm lobster roll—even though they have BBQ chicken pizza, but as Adam keeps saying; “When in Chickie’s...”

I’m too distracted playing a game with Jack to hear the boys’ order but when the food comes out evenmyjaw drops. Have you ever seen that episode of Friends when everyone goes out for Phoebe's birthday but by the end, only Joey is left, and they tell him the food is ready to be served?

Well, that’s what this is like, and Adam is Joey. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much crab in my life! I nudge Gunner to get his attention.

“What did you order?” I ask as he loads his plate up with meat and shellfish from the platters in the middle.

“This is Hollywood’s treat,” he says by way of answer, giving me no indication to what he actually ordered.

“Oh, I didn’t hear him say that.”

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