Page 62 of She Wolf

She stares out in the garden and then her eyes flit back to the house where Jack is sleeping. Her head shake is almost imperceptible, but I see it.

“Coralie, I—”

She places her hand on my arm, effectively shushing me. “Yes, you can have it. Of course, you can have it. I’m just scared,” she whispers.

I reach my left hand up to cup the side of her jaw. “What of? Is it me? Did I fuck up?”

She gives another tiny shake of her head and leans into my palm.

“No, it was me, I did. I messed up eight years ago and now my heart and my soul are paying the price.”

“Coralie, I can promise you, it was never anything you did. He was blind to not see what was right in front of him, ignorant to see what he had. You should have been loved better. Coralie, you are the most deserving person I know. I’ll reap his mistakes. I’ll love you so hard. No,” I shake my head at my misspoken words. “I’ll love youandJack so much that neither of you will ever go a day without knowing it. Without me showing you.”

Her eyes well with unshed tears and without hesitating I place our beers down on the metal bistro table she has set up out here. Drawing her in toward my body, she melts into me. I hold onto her and vow to make sure she knows for the rest of her life how easy to love she really is.

Hell, it was never lust I felt for her. It’s always been love.

Just as I rearrange us and go in for a slow kiss Jack cries out for his mom again. I straighten and lead her back into the house.

We end up spending the rest of the night making trips to the bathroom with him and taking turns to stay until he falls asleep.

By two in the morning, his head is sweaty when he lies down in the crook of my arm and he’s still white as a sheet, but with a cool damp cloth on his little forehead, he falls asleep quickly this time. He smells like sweat, toothpaste, and apples from the little kiddie shower gel Coralie was washing him with and I can’t help it as my eyes close and I start to drift off.

***

My back and knees feel like they’re on fire as I open my eyes and then have to squints as the sun streams through a pair of navy-checked curtains.

Blinking I take in my surroundings. I’m curled up in a tiny bed that my arm and both feet can’t fit in and am covered in a blue and green checked quilt. Wolves Hockey paraphernalia is littered everywhere, and I have to do a double take of the giant life-size poster of myself and Callan looking back at me. Someone at the club must have given it to him.

It’s fucking huge.

“Gunner! Mom, he’s awake. You make a good pillow, Gunner,” Jack says from the doorway and then makes his way over and hops up onto his bed. He’s surprisingly energetic for someone who spent half the night yakking his guts up. He’s still got his pj’s on and his hair is a mess, but his eyes are bright, and he looks less sickly.

“You’ll pay for that today,” Coralie says pointing out that I can barely fit in the miniature bed.

“It was worth it,” I say trying to stretch my body out while taking Jack in. “Do you feel better now, Dude?”

“Yes, but Mom said I can’t have pancakes because I need to rest my tummy. So, we’re going to have just toast and a banana.”

“Now that’s a good idea. Have you ever had bananasontoast?”

He looks at me like I’m insane. “Come on I’ll show you. It’s the best. My mom used to make it for me when I felt unwell. What time is it?” I ask, as I climb out of the bed and stretch my arms over my head. Stiff doesn’t even cover my aching bones this morning.

“After ten. We all slept in late.” I bend down for a kiss as I pass her and go to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth, while taking a leak. Then after splashing some water on my face, get to making breakfast. Jack reaches for the OJ but his mom lifts the carton off the breakfast bar and replaces it with a jug of water. He huffs but pours himself a glass anyway.

“I feel good now, Mom.”

“It’s just for today, Jack, we need to make sure you really are better.”

I’m only standing in front of the toaster. Coralie isonlypressing buttons on the coffee maker and Jack isonlysitting at the breakfast bar but there is something so right about this picture.

The three of us, together.

Don’t get me wrong I love it when we’re with our friends and Coralie’s family but there's something so special about these little everyday moments and I’m here for it all.

As much as Jack pleads to go outside and play, we take it easy. We go for a leisurely walk and then come back and watch a movie. It’s the Disney one with the singing and the kid and the skeletons, but I couldn’t tell you what's happening because I’m falling asleep on the couch while Coralie softly runs her nails over my chest, her head on my shoulder. Jack is on the floor lying on his front, little feet crossed in the air after munching on a few crackers.

Eventually, my stomach starts to rumble, not satisfied with the baked potatoes I had earlier, and I know it’s time to go home. Jack needs to get an early night and I have a meeting in the morning about the foundation Casey is trying to set up, but I don’t want to leave.

---