Page 56 of She Wolf

I had three brothers destined to be NHL greats and the rest joined the FDNY. Add into that being raised by two of the strongest, most independent and fierce women I know, and you end up wondering what the hell happened to make you fail so hard.

I looked in the mirror and found myself lacking.

I was embarrassed to say I had made a mistake, too stubborn to admit I had been fooled. An idiot to not see through the charade.

I fell for the rouse. Everything started and ended with Casey. Nick wanted to come along for the ride and made me believe he wanted me instead.

Worthlessness consumed me. He had stripped almost all the Madden I had in me. I felt like nothing—like a crappy wife, and a trashy sister. Worst of all, I felt like a terrible daughter.

Like a failure.

And then there was Jack. What if he tried to take him away from me? What if he charmed the courts the way he had been able to charm everyone else?

It was a vicious cycle and so was the way he treated me.

It has taken me literally years to talk all of this through with my therapist. To finally be on the outside looking in. Turning to Casey was the right thing to do, living with him—helped me find the old me. And Gunner, well Gunner kick-started my heart.

The heart I thought would only ever beat for my son.

Shaking out of my thoughts, I pick a navy one-piece, semi-sexy suit instead. Plus, it matches my freshly painted nails in the same color, which is cute.

It will also drive Gunner insane while being reasonably moderate for a day in the pool with my brothers.

I finish up, grab Jack, and head to Gunner’s truck.

By the time we get to Casey’s, Anna is accepting a very large takeout order from the Orange Grove, everybody’s favorite restaurant outside of the city.

“I’ve never seen anything like the food this lot can put away,” she says by way of greeting.

Casey lifts the boxes and bags from her and the delivery driver, while handing him a tip.

“We’re hungry wolves and we have a lot of vacation planning to do.” He smacks his lips on hers and makes his way inside.

The rest of the boys and Chloe arrive just as Knox and I finish setting the table. We dine al fresco as it’s such a beautiful day. The pergola offers enough shade while we eat with the delicate barely-there clematis flowers that creep and weave through the wood now in full bloom; it adds a summery scent to the soft breeze.

Casey’s phone beeps and his jaw sets while he reads the text.

“It’s from Dad. Jets are pushing for Jase to sign. The club is going to need to up the stakes if they really want Jason to be a Wolf.”

The table breaks out into chatter as a forlorn look sweeps across Jack’s face. Gunner notices straight away and bends down to whisper in his ear. After a few nods of his head and then a big smile, Jack goes back to swinging his legs under his chair while he digs into the lasagna Casey ordered for him.

Thosewhat iffears try to rear their ugly heads again. Gunner has a way of easing Jack’s worries with a few soft words. What if I ruin this for Jack? Ruin what he has with Gunner?

I have to internally shake my brain to stop it from conjuring up such thoughts. I’m trying not think of it like that and instead focus on the possibility of their relationship only growing stronger.

What if Jack likes the fact that me and Gunner are giving it a go? Would things really change for him? My mind continues to build a beautiful picture of our future, as I finish my Spanish-style sea bass and smoky chorizo.

Eventually, everyone is done eating, and we make fast work of clearing the table and setting up around the pool. Although we all end up in the water due to the heat.

Anna, Chloe, and I migrate to the furthest end of the pool so we can have a conversation without getting hit by a wayward ball every two seconds. The noise level cranks up a few hundred decibels with Jack screeching while the guys argue and laugh over anything and everything. The sound of water splashing around us all adds up to it being a perfect afternoon.

“Casey’s been a little lost lately,” Anna says chewing on her lip.

It’s slightly swollen from the trauma she’s endured over the last two years. She bit clean through it when Casey had a car accident and had to have it stitched back together. It was the catalyst for them breaking up but like I said before, they’ve worked it out and seem more in love than ever.

Her blonde hair is piled atop of her head and the jade bikini she’s wearing makes her green eyes seem lighter than they are.

“He has? I thought he would love having the place all to yourselves.”

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