Page 131 of She Wolf

chest.

“I heard you sigh and try not to cry. Saw anger flash across your face when someone mentioned the divorce.” He shakes his head in dismay. “You were frustrated for three damn years Coralie waiting for that email. I’d catch you pacing and pulling at your hair. I watched you bottle up all the resentment and the hurt and I could do nothing. Or maybe I should have done more.” More shaking of his head.

“I tried to though, in small ways and I hope you saw that. Saw that I desperately wanted to help you. Desperately wanted to love you so much that you felt it deep in your bones.”

He closes his eyes as if to settle some internal war and then when he opens them, I see determination in his stare.

“Maybe I waited too long. Or maybe I should have waited longer, I don’t know. But I give up. I give up on the waiting around, on holding my breath, on wanting. Live with me, be an ‘us’. Choose me. Don’t be scared or say it’s too soon or that you need your space. Jump into this with me.”

He’s back to the neck pulling. “And yeah, this was a dick move, I’ve probably just undone all the work I’ve put in—but stay here with me. All I’ve ever wanted is for us to be together. The thought of us being apart for any longer drives me fucking nuts. And Jack’s right, I have loved you since the moment I met you. This is everything to me.” He lets out a shaky breath.

Fire flashes through my blood and not in a good way and my eyes fill with hot tears. “I’ve lived there what? A whole five weeks! I’ve been by myself for a month,

Gunner. That’s it. You’re just like the rest of them, just like my brothers. My whole

adult life I feel like I’ve been controlled. First by him and then by my brothers and now you. We should never have come here. This is so selfish of you Gunner, really.”

I cross my arms as I end my sentence and then immediately regret every damn word. Gunner is the least selfish person I have ever met—the complete opposite of selfish. He just wanted to give Kate some space to think and be free and for us to build on what we had while we had the time to do it. I can see why he just broke, why he’s said those things.

If I’d have seen Gunner go through what I did, I would have done everything I could to make sure he knew he mattered, to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone.

The look on his face right this second—dejected. Hurt.

Urgh! I can’t believe I said it and now I can’t friggin’ take it. This is exactly why I needed my own space and time because I had things to work through. Stuff to let go of. Instead, I got caught up in the excitement of summer, of falling in love.

“Will you excuse me? I need some air,” I sniff.

He simply nods and I rush down the steps and out into the yard. I wanted to be independent so damn much. I wanted to show Jack that I was able to support us. That as much as I was grateful to Casey, I could stand on my own two feet. I wanted to prove Nick didn’t have a hold over me and that I could do what I always set out to do. It feels like if I moved in with Gunner for real, I’d be indebted to someone again.

God. That’s not even the right word. What am I even saying? Gunner would never make me feel like I owed him anything.

With my head spinning and a pain building at the base of my skull, I slip back into the house and grab a bottle of water. Kate appears at my side. She’s free of make-up, got her brown hair tied up in a knot, and is wearing adult-sized, Wolves jammies—courtesy of Chloe.

“Are you okay? I heard a little…” She gestures her head toward the staircase.

“I am. I just have a lot to figure out. If I went to clear my head, would you be okay here by yourself?”

She gasps, eyes filling with disbelief and takes a step back, holding on to Biscuit for dear life. “Are you leaving Gunner?”

I shush her, waving my hands and shaking my head. “No, of course not. I just need some space. How would you feel—”

“Fine,” she says anticipating the end of my sentence and nuzzling the puppy.

“Honestly?” She nods. “I feel like this is a really crappy thing to do,” I say chewing on my lip.

“Don’t worry about me and Jack’s in bed. We’ll be alright. And if Gunner gets mopey, I’ll make him a sundae or something.” I can’t even force a smile at that.

“Okay. I just feel like the walls are closing in on me,” I try to explain.

“I get that. Go we’ll be good.”

And without another thought, I walk out of the house. I start to head over to Casey’s but that would just be a disaster. I turn to walk to Chloe’s, but I don’t need a pep talk right now and I don’t want to talk about my feelings. I want peace to work through my crap.

And I know exactly where that is.

I continue to walk past the next few houses and then turn into the ominous driveway, knock on the dark navy door, and wait. His car is here but that doesn’t mean anything. I knock again and then when I almost give up, his brooding presence fills the frosted glass to the side of the door, and he opens up.

“Sorry it’s late, can I come in?” His dark brow furrows but he nods and steps back.

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