Page 108 of She Wolf

“Hey, it’s nice to meet you. Would you like me to sign something?”

“Yes. Oh, fu-fudge,” he blushes. “I don’t have my bag or cell out on the shop floor. Erm… how about…” Flustered he starts pulling at the receipt roll in the cash register and when he does manage to rip a piece off it’s all crinkled.

“Don’t worry,” Gunner says his eyes roving over the aisles. “I’ll be right back.” In a flash, he’s back in front of us pulling the tag off another ball cap. He takes his off, signs his name over the material with a pen he picks up from the counter, and then passes it to the kid, whose name tag reads Justin, as he gapes on in awe.

“Can you ring this up too?” Gunner says adjusting the back of his new cap and placing it on his head.

“Ye, Yes, thank you. This is… I don’t know what to say. You’re my favorite now. I mean...” Justin blushes again, this time deeper, and shakes his head.

“Oh, yeah?” Gunner chuckles. “Who was your favorite before me?”

“Adam Hollywood,” Justin replies shyly. A big laugh erupts out of Gunner and I can’t help but giggle too.

“Now I need to thank you, kid. I can’t wait to tell him,” he says handing over his sleek black credit card.

I nudge his arm and he surveys my face. “Oh right. Just this one time, eh? I’ll get these because of the ball cap?”

I hum but let him pay and then we manage to get out of the shop unscathed and without drawing any more attention to us.

He carries the bag with the boxed-up shoes in and we continued to visit a few more stores. He itches to reach into his pocket at every cash desk but doesn’t, knowing I want to buy Jack’s presents myself.

That is of course until we arrive at the biggest toy and gaming store the mall has to offer. Then I know all bets are off.

“Fuck. This is so much better than buying for him online. Look at all this shit. It’s crazy.”

It’s then I know I’ve lost Gunner and all sense of keeping him grounded. He’s in Lego heaven. I wasn’t even going to tell him there was an actual store dedicated to the expensive little blocks.

Gunner’s face is lit up like a Christmas tree and every time he picks something up he explains—ingreatdetail—where he and Jack could place it or what they would need to move around in the city that they’re creating.

He beams as he talks all about the things he and Jack are going to get up to and I melt even more.

Four years ago

“What the fuck is all this crap doing out?” I jump about four feet off the floor and spin around from the stove.

“Jesus, Nick, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come in. Jack was playing with it. I was going to put it all away after he fell asleep. It’s no big deal, it will only take a few minutes.” I move and then crouch down on the living room floor and start packing Jack’s things into the toy basket.

“Fuck I can’t even sit down when I come home from work. Why do you let him play out here anyway? He has his own room.” As usual Nick’s voice is laced with venom, and I scurry to collect it all up.

“Because his room is small, and he needs space to move around. Jack’s too young to play with this by himself. These blocks can be dangerous and—”

“Then why does he fucking have them?” I was already on my knees, but the force with which he pushes me means I don’t have enough time to stop him as he grabs the colorful house Jack and I built, breaking the roof off and then filling it with the rest of the loose pieces throwing it all in a bag.

“Please just let him have them. The sets cost a lot of money and he loves playing with them. I’ll make sure it’s all put away after. I promise,” I plead, pulling on his arm. It’s not lost on me that I’m still on my knees.

“No. He can’t have it. It’s messy and because you didn’t clear it away it’s gone. This is on you, Coralie. Don’t forget that.” He storms out of the front door and opens up the car, placing the bag of Lego’s in the trunk.

I tried really hard to get the Legos back for Jack but Nick wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t even wrap my head around how a person could take away something that brought their own child so much joy, but that’s when I knew there was no turning back.

In college, I’d sat in classes learning about how men and women get stuck in toxic relationships, and not know until it was too late.

Well, it was too damn late for me.

***

“Hey, Coralie, are you okay? You’ve gone a little pale. Let’s get you a snack?”

“I, huh? No, I’m fine I just…” Tears spring from my eyes and Gunner immediately drops the basket he was holding and envelopes me in one of his incomparable bone-crushing hugs.

---