Page 44 of 2 Books in One Bundle

His gut churned with shame and remorse. ‘I know.’

‘Can you fix it?’

If he wasn’t too late. If she hadn’t given up on him. If she gave him a second chance. ‘I hope so.’

The last thing Mia felt like doing at five in the afternoon was dropping by Zander’s apartment in the cold and the dark to pick up the things she’d left behind. It was so final. So heartbreaking. And to make her do it on Christmas Eve? When they’d once planned to spend the following day together? She’d thought him many things, but never cruel.

Well.

She’d do this one last thing and draw a line under the last sorry fortnight. Chalk it up to experience and move on. They’d have to stay in touch, obviously, but not for months and she’d have got over him by then. Already her heart had begun to mend. A bit. Because did she really need someone in her life who scuttled off when the going got tough? No, she did not. Someone had to be the grownup in this relationship of theirs and it clearly wasn’t going to be him.

But that was fine. As she’d told him weeks ago, she was perfectly capable of raising their child on her own. She had money. She didn’t need Zander to buy her a house. She’d buy or rent one of her own when the time came. Her friends would be her baby’s family. And if he still wanted to be involved, well, that was fine too. She could do cool. She could do detached. She’d take lessons from him.

But when she stepped out of the lift and strode into his apartment and saw what he’d done, she skidded to a halt, all her excellent intentions, her composure, her control, the very strength from her limbs just draining clean away.

Strings of fairy lights hung from every available point. Tasteful arrangements of foliage, pinecones and clove-studded oranges sat on almost every horizontal surface. A twelve-foot tree stood in one corner of the living room, swathed in garlands of lights and adorned with glass baubles. A fire crackled in the grate and innumerable flickering cinnamon-scented candles filled the air with the warm, spicy scent of Christmas.

Stunned into immobility, her heart shredded, Mia surveyed the scene, complete with carols softly emanating from somewhere and... Oh, no, she was going to cry again.

But she swallowed down the emotion, dug deep for cool detachment and turned to the man standing just to her left. ‘If you could point me in the direction of my things,’ she said with a bright, nothing-bothers-me smile that cost her everything she had, ‘I’ll be out of your hair in a jiffy.’

Zander started. Blinked, as if jolted out of a trance. ‘What?’

‘My belongings? I’m here to collect them.’

‘Is that what you want?’ he said, his brows snapping together in a deep frown.

No. Of course it wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted him, so much still that she might as well not have bothered armour-plating her defences. He looked terrible, pale and drawn, but it did nothing to diminish his gorgeousness, which really wasn’t fair when even though she’d spent hours on her hair, clothes and make-up—of which she was not proud—she still looked a mess. He was wearing a black shirt and faded blue jeans with nothing on his feet, and that wasn’t fair either because he knew, because she’d told him, that she found that combination unbearably sexy.

She had to be so careful around this man. So very, very careful. Because if she let him, he could break her, for good this time.

‘That’s whatyouwant.’

‘No, it isn’t,’ he said. ‘That was just a ruse to get you here. I didn’t think you’d come otherwise, after the last few days.’

Now it was Mia’s turn to startle. ‘Oh?’

‘Why would I do all this if I didn’t want you to stay?’ he said, sounding a little wild, a little desperate. ‘You were the one who mentioned creating new traditions.’

She reeled. Her heart lurched and then began to race. ‘You did this for me?’

‘Who else would I have done it for?’

‘I don’t know. Someone you’ve met in the last few days?’

‘For six months, there’s only been you, Mia,’ he said, his dark eyes so intent on hers she could barely breathe. ‘For the rest of my life there will always only be you. You even told me that.’

‘At which point you walked out.’

‘And I’ll regret it for ever.’ He took a step towards her and for one giddy moment she thought he was going to touch her, but then he stopped as if unsure whether that would be welcome. ‘I’m so sorry about that. I was terrified of the strength of my feelings for you. Of how vulnerable they made me. I’ve spent years locking up my emotions. It was the only way I could handle my parents’ neglect. Life just seemed easier and safer if I just didn’t feel anything at all. But then I met you and that strategy went to hell in a handcart. You petrify and thrill me in equal measure, Mia. You could crucify me if you chose to, and that fear’s taken a while to dispatch. But there is no one on this planet I would rather spend the rest of my life with. No one. I love you. You are the most magnificent woman I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to meet our child and there is nothing more I’d like than to build a family with you. I want to give you everything. I want to make all your dreams come true.’ He stopped, swallowed hard, then took a breath. ‘If I didn’t think there was a chance you might throw it back in my face,’ he said gruffly, ‘I’d start by giving you this.’

He dug a hand into the back pocket of his jeans and withdrew a small, square, black velvet box. And when he opened it with ever so slightly shaking hands, to reveal a blinding white diamond solitaire ring, despite all her attempts to remain cool and detached, the floor beneath her feet began to quake, sending shockwaves up through her body and cracking her heart wide open to spill love and joy and relief into every cell of her being.

She had no defence against this man who could crucify her too but wouldn’t, because why would they do that to each other when theirs was a love strong enough to withstand whatever life had to throw at them? No defence at all against the tsunami of feeling rushing through her, which made her chest swell with such happiness she thought she would burst.

‘I wouldn’t throw it back in your face,’ she said, perilously close to tears again.

He stilled. A light began to shimmer in those wonderful dark eyes of his. ‘No?’

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