Page 37 of 2 Books in One Bundle

‘You’ll like this one.’

‘How enigmatic.’

‘Not any more,’ he said, taking her hand as they went up the steps. ‘Thanks to you, I’m an open book.’

Burning up with curiosity and nervous excitement, Mia entered the cabin ahead of him and thought that he certainly was that. He’d confessed that he’d shut the conversation down that night in the library because it had been too much to handle, but they’d talked a lot over the weekend. They’d compared childhoods. Shared stories and experiences. Discussed such wide-ranging topics as politics, books and culinary loves and hates. She’d wanted to discover as much as she could about the father of her child and she’d done exactly that.

Of the future there’d been less discussion but there was plenty of time. They had months. The important thing was that they were communicating, on a number of different levels, and things were looking rosy.

Herbook, however, was slightly less open, of course. But if he knew that she was not only thinking about his marriage proposal but actually considering it,in his favour, he’d be unbearable. She could hardly believe she was entertaining the idea of it herself. She’d always been so resolute about only marrying for love, so convinced that that would give her everything she’d ever wanted.

But over the weekend she’d begun to wonder, would it?

What if she never fell in love? Or what if she did and it all went wrong? Could Zander be right? Was what they already had enough? She found him fascinating. They got on well. They were on the same parenting page, trusted each other enough to reveal the bad as well as the good, and the chemistry showed no signs of diminishing.

Dare she imagine that, given the fact that he’d changed his mind about opening up to her, albeit under duress, his opinion on other things might shift too? Like love?

She probably shouldn’t, but she did nonetheless. Because evidently he hadn’t always been against it. Surely his relationship with Valentina was proof of that. It had been short and he’d been young, but despite Mia’s suggestion at the time that perhaps he hadn’t been as into it as Valentina had been, in hindsight, he must have loved her for their breakup to have had such a long-lasting effect. And if he’d been capable of it once, perhaps, if he could get over the breakup, he could be so again, in theory, which did possibly throw a different light on the future.

‘How long will we be away for?’ she said, sitting down in one of the cream leather seats and fastening her seatbelt as she cast a glance over the matching sofas, the thick shortbread-coloured carpet and the polished walnut trim, more akin to a sitting room than an aircraft.

‘One night only, so there’s no need to panic. We’ll be back by tomorrow afternoon.’

He knew her and her need to be near her business too well.

‘And the flight time?’

‘Three and a half hours.’

Perhaps the destination was Athens. That would be great. She would love to see where he grew up. She might even get to meet his mother, who, following her brush with the Maldivian law, had returned home and was under strict orders not to leave it. But there didn’t seem much point in asking because she doubted he’d tell her.

‘However are we going to occupy ourselves?’

‘There’s a cabin at the back with a bed in it,’ he said as he took the seat opposite her and smouldered. ‘I’m sure we’ll think of something.’

After take-off, they had breakfast. Over a plate of pastries, she told him that she used to dream her father was a pilot—or maybe a scientist or a farmer—and create whole worlds around him. She told him that, along with the cooking, being able to lose herself in her imagination had come in handy when things had got a bit much later on and she’d needed a way to handle the resentment and anger that developed along with everything else. He downed coffee after coffee and responded by confessing that he’d dealt with the neglect he’d suffered by comfort eating, in a classically futile attempt to make himself feel better, which was why he was so disciplined in hitting the gym.

That reminded Mia of his muscles, as if she needed a reminder, and they headed to the cabin, where she joined the mile high club and for a deliciously long while stopped tormenting herself with the pros and cons of marrying him and didn’t think about the possible engagement of her heart in all this.

She didn’t notice that outside the sun was starboard or that the sky was darkening instead of brightening even though it was mid-morning. She was aware of nothing but the wild, all-consuming heat that burned between them and losing control of her body and mind.

It was only when they touched down, some three hours and several orgasms later, that Zander finally lifted his head from the crook of her neck and said with a grin that suggested he was thoroughly proud of himself, and not just because he’d repeatedly dissolved her bones, ‘Welcome to Lapland.’

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

MIADIDNOTreact to his announcement that they’d arrived in Lapland the way Zander had expected. He’d imagined a gasp of surprise and then perhaps a squeal of enthusiastic delight and a pleasing display of gratitude. He’d been so proud of himself that he’d thought of this. He’d never been any good at giving presents. He’d always worried about getting it wrong, as his parents invariably had on the rare occasion they’d remembered a birthday, and figured it would be simpler just to not give anyone anything at all.

But this had felt like a winner. Utterly fail-safe. Lapland was Mia’s dream holiday destination. December was an excellent time of year to see the Northern Lights. She’d be thrilled, he’d assured himself as he’d fleshed out the plan and instructed his team of assistants to see to the details. He certainly was. What he was doing was the ultimate proof that he was complete and could operate in the relationship arena just as successfully as everyone else did.

But Mia wasn’t thrilled. Her gasp was a sharp one of dismay rather than a breathy one of excited surprise. She wriggled out from beneath him and pulled on her clothes, pale and shaking, so quiet and withdrawn suddenly it was as if someone had switched her off. Shockingly cold after all that heat, buffeted by confusion, Zander was too stunned to do anything but go through the motions as they disembarked the plane and went through Customs.

Now, they were in the car for the twenty-minute journey that would take them to the treehouse cabin where they were to be spending the night. Mia sat turned away from him, staring out of the window, but he could tell she was battling tears—tears—and his shock gave way to a surge of emotion that he just couldn’t contain.

Why was she so upset? was the question that pounded through his head while he flailed about for an explanation, completely at sea and devastated, the pride, the hope, the relief draining utterly away. Had he got it wrong? How? It didn’t seem possible. But he must have done. Why else would she be crying?

Theos, he wasnogood at this. Communication. Relationships. Trying to do something that he thought might make someone else happy. He never had been. Why he’d ever believed he’d be able to change the habits of a lifetime he had no idea. As if one weekend of self-analysis was going to fix anything. His issues stretched back decades. They were imprinted on the very marrow of his bones. This was a disaster.Hewas a disaster.

He knew he ought to ask her what was wrong, to see if there was anything he could do to help, but he didn’t dare to in case she confirmed that he’d failed. Again. He didn’t think he could bear to know that he’d made no progress at all, in spite of his best efforts, and most likely never would. What would that mean for him? For them? That, he couldn’t bring himself to contemplate either.

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