Page 32 of 2 Books in One Bundle

As the evening progressed, he continued to ponder the conundrum as they ate and drank and he watched her from afar. At first she’d preferred to observe the proceedings rather than participate in them. But gradually she seemed to relax and the balance shifted in the other direction. Before long, she and his siblings were chatting away as if they’d known each other for years instead of hours.

He largely listened and learned. Atticus and Zoe had recently been to a restaurant that served its customers in the dark, which prompted a discussion about the importance of senses when dining and gimmickry. Santi was buying an island off the Brazilian coast. Mia’s dream holiday destination was Lapland, to see the aurora borealis.

One part of him ached with envy over her ability to fit in so easily and tried desperately to work out how she was doing it. Another was dazzled by the way she somehow shone, in a way that had nothing to do with the sexy gold sparkly dress she had on.

A third, however, was noting that she was avidly drinking everything in, wholly wrapped up in the banter and the affection, and quite suddenly, just as coffee and chocolates were being served, he had an epiphany.

He knew exactly what he’d seen in that smile.

Longing.

This was what she’d always dreamed of, he realised with a rush to the head, stunned that he hadn’t figured it out sooner. To be part of a family. To belong. And while he would never be able to offer her the love she wanted when he abhorred emotion, especially of the sentimental kind, and simply wasn’t capable of it anyway, it was within his power to givethisto her.

Marriage was no longer as remote a possibility as it had felt last night, he thought with a surge of satisfaction. Securing his position in case, unlike his siblings, she recognised his lack of depth and selfishness and took against it and decided she’d had enough, was once again at the top of his agenda. Because now, after days of wondering what the hell he was going to do about it, he had the leverage to get it.

What an absolutely fascinating evening, Mia reflected, kicking off her shoes back at the apartment and padding after Zander into the kitchen. And to think she’d been so nervous. His announcement had come completely without warning, but she hadn’t had time to panic over how all those beautiful people were going to take the news of her pregnancy because, to her utter amazement and relief, she’d been enveloped in warmth and any concerns she’d had had simply disappeared.

There’d been no sly comments, no judgement, just delight and support to an extent that she’d never have expected. She hadn’t met any of them before—they moved inverydifferent circles—but that hadn’t dimmed their effusiveness or acceptance of her and their nephew-or niece-to-be one bit, and for a while she’d been so overwhelmed, her throat so tight, that she’d hardly been able to speak.

But at least she hadn’t fallen into the trap of thinking any of it was real. Every time shehadcaught herself drifting off into dangerous little daydreams in which Zander was interested in her welfare for her sake and not just their baby’s and they were all one big happy family, she remembered him telling Thalia—most emphatically—they were not an item and hauled herself back on track.

Instead, she’d eaten supper without really tasting it—a rarity—and observed the dynamics like a kid with their face pressed up against the window of a sweetshop, only allowing herself to be drawn into the conversation once she’d strengthened her defences.

And hadn’t those dynamics been intriguing.

Zander’s exchange with Willow on the subject of his reluctance to sit for a portrait had been particularly interesting. She didn’t buy his ‘not enough time’ excuse. Everyone else had managed to make time. Their portraits all hung in the exhibition she’d been to. But not his. Behind the smile and the careless shrug, she thought she’d caught a flicker of irritation in his eyes. And something else. Something that had looked a bit like fear. Which was odd, because while she could understand the irritation if he genuinely didn’t want to be painted, what on earth would he have to fear?

And that wasn’t the only perplexing aspect of the evening. Forget Valentina for a moment, whoever she might be. Of far greater interest had been the other undercurrents she’d sensed swirling around him. It had been clear that everyone there was very fond of him and that the dinner had been a happy, relaxed occasion, but for some reason he’d seemed on edge. Sort of removed from the proceedings. He hid it well, but once or twice she’d even caught him looking at his siblings as if they were a different species, which was bizarre.

And what was the lazy smile, the lounging and the insouciant drawl all about? That wasn’t the real him. She’d glimpsed the man behind the mask and he was far more layered than he was making out. The conversation they’d had on the way up was an example of that. Yet the minute they’d walked in, it was as if he’d flicked a switch and become a completely different person and she didn’t think it was a one-off because no one called him out on it.

Why did he feel the need to put on a show, especially for his nearest and dearest? What was going on beneath the handsome, laid-back and very assured surface? And if she asked, would he ever tell her?

Having furnished Mia with a cup of the green tea she favoured, Zander made himself the thick black coffee he preferred and then joined her at the breakfast bar end of the island. Now he knew how to get what he wanted, like any deal, he was keen to get it wrapped up. Before he got side-tracked by her dress, her tousled hair and sexily smudged eye make-up and the moment passed. So he pulled out a stool, sat down opposite her and gave her a level look. ‘We need to talk.’

‘We do indeed,’ she agreed with an equally level look of her own. ‘You can start by telling me why you were so on edge tonight when it was such a wonderful evening.’

He stilled. His pulse skipped a beat. What the hell?

‘I wasn’t on edge,’ he said, his intentions for the conversation momentarily derailed.

‘Not outwardly,’ she conceded. ‘Outwardly, you were all lazy smiles and devilish charm from the minute we walked into that room. But it felt like some sort of a front, because you seemed watchful and wary. There but not really there. As if you’d landed from another planet. I’d like to know why.’

Well,thatwasn’t happening. He could barely unravel it in his head, let alone articulate it. But how had Mia noticed? What had given him away? What else could she have seen?

He shifted on the stool and adjusted his jacket, his blood chilling at the thought of being so transparent. ‘There’s nothing to know.’

‘I think there is.’ She wrapped her hands around the cup and tilted her head, continuing before he could interject. ‘I think that behind that gorgeous facade of yours there’s amaelstromgoing on. I mean, how could there not be? You have a mother who sounds as selfish and embarrassing as the tabloid press reports and a father who by your own admission was never around for you. That neglect has to have been painful beyond words. You don’t seem at all comfortable around your siblings, and I find myself wondering if Valentina, whoever she is, is the reason you’re so sceptical about love, if she’s the one who made you feel vulnerable and exposed, out of control and powerless. For some reason I’ve yet to work out, the idea of sitting for your portrait terrifies you and right now a muscle is pounding in your cheek and your jaw is so tight it looks as if it’s about to shatter. I’d like to know what you’re feeling. What you’re thinking. You never know, I might even be able to help.’

Zander didn’t need help. He just needed this unnecessary psychoanalysis to stop, along with her terrifying perceptiveness. The expanding pressure in his chest was crushing the air from his lungs. A swarm of a thousand bees seemed to be buzzing in his head.

So much for dissembling. It was as if she’d drawn back the curtain to his soul and taken a good long look at it. How had she done that? Did she understand what she’d seen? How had he not noticed?

The situation was slipping dangerously out of hand. His very foundations were cracking and he couldn’t allow that. He had to contain the emotions trying to break their bonds to surge through him. He had to restore order and regain control and remember why he’d wanted to talk to her in the first place. So he willed his head to clear and concentrated on his breathing until he was cold and numb and back in command of himself. ‘That’s quite some analysis.’

‘You’re a fascinating man and it was an illuminating evening.’

‘Did you enjoy yourself?’

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