Page 1 of If He Wanted To, He Wood

One

Tasha

By mid-November, it is socially acceptable to decorate for the holidays, and stores are already playing holiday music. The lights twinkle in different colours or shades of white, as the scent of pine, cinnamon, and cloves fill the air in shops and houses. The weather has settled in Ontario, so I’ve been keeping my layers on, enjoying the crispness of the season while anticipating the snowflakes to come.

I’ve been struggling to find the perfect gift for my boyfriend, Edward. We’ve been together for three years, and it feels like nothing I find is quite right. Wanting to show him how much I love him seems impossible to do in gift form.

I text my best friend Liz, to ask if she is working today before I make the trip over. We have been best friends for ten years. She is always there for me and though she hates Eddie, she tolerates him. She’s working but texts back her lunch hour, I walk to my bedroom to get ready.

I have tried a million and one diets, but over the last year, I’ve focused on loving my curves instead of shrinking them. I slip an oversized blue sweater on, and slide into my boots. I braid my hair into low pigtails. When I open the jewelry box, I sift through forty pairs of holiday earrings. I grab candy cane ones and slip them into my ears, and then put on a bit of mascara and lip gloss.

“The only thing I hate about this time of the year is the drivers,” I say to myself as I navigate through the idiots. One flake of snow and no one knows their brake pedal from their blinker. It is a huge downside, but I live too far from the mall to walk there, which wouldn’t be safer anyways because no one pays attention to pedestrians. Since no one can park either, I find a spot about ten minutes from the mall and grab my purse, before trudging through the chill.

I spend half the time waiting for Liz, at the bath and body place, picking out her favourite scented candles and bath bombs. Every year I put together a self-care package for her because she works part time at the mall, and has another job at a store across town, so she never has time for herself. I walk through a few other stores, but I can’t find anything outstanding for Edward. I pick up his favourite cologne, so at least it’s a start.

When I make my way to the food court, I’m about five minutes early, but I grab a table and order an iced coffee because it’s never too cold for my favourite drink. I sit and scroll through my phone while I wait for her. I’ve been expecting Edward to send me a text with the time to meet this afternoon for our dinner date. He said he was going to cook for me and I have been looking forward to it. He has been so swamped by work and his shifts clash with mine so we haven’t seen each other all week. The weekends have become our time together.

“Bitch, people are fucked,” Liz says as she sits down with her lunch.

“What happened?” I ask.

“Nothing new. When did people get extra stupid? Like, fuck, it’s not Christmas eve, it’s not even December, and they are being crazy.” She sighs, pulling her long blonde hair into a ponytail.

“The summer tire drivers are out in full force too,” I tell her.

“Don’t I fucking know, they’re wild! I almost got into an accident this morning on my way here. I swear to god, people don’t know their blinker from their assholes.”

“I literally said the same thing when I was driving here. Do you work all weekend?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’ll be there Monday for our date, which is most needed. What are you up to for the weekend?” She downs her lunch in record time.

“Edward and I are supposed to have dinner tonight, but he hasn’t texted me, so I’m going to go over after I take my shopping home.”

“It’s because he’s a douchewad. I wish you’d break up with him because he’s got a bad vibe, and you deserve so much better. You have that gorgeous house with a beautiful backyard, and he lives in some randos basement. He’s using you,” she says with her full chest.

“Hopefully, you’ll eventually change your mind. I love you more than life, but you are wrong about him.” We stand to part ways.

“It’s been three years babe, it will not change, but I love you. As long as you are happy, I will grin and bear it.”

She hugs me and goes back to work as I leave the mall and drive home. I pull into my driveway and think about what she said. My house isn’t gorgeous, but it’s mine, which is a feat. It wouldn’t have ever happened if it wasn’t for my grandmother leaving it to me. It’s a small but cute two bedroom, and it always feels like a warm hug when I get home. The backyard is gorgeous, though. The gardens are plentiful in the summer and the back area has a small gazebo. I’ve been meaning to plant something there, but I haven’t found the right thing yet.

After I put my gifts away in the spare room, I inspect my makeup and check my phone for the last time. I decide I will drive over and surprise him. When I get there, the front door is open, and I think about how his roommates never lock the thing. I walk down the stairs, finding the basement empty and his bedroom door closed, I push it open.

The first thing to notice is a shock of blonde hair, the girl flailing as she scrambles off the bed before I move my eyes to him. He is lying on the bed with a sheet covering him. His shaggy brown hair is messy, and he hasn't shaved. The girl rushes into the ensuite and the door slams shut behind her.

“What are you doing here Tasha?” Edward smashes a fist on the side table.

“We have dinner plans. Who the heck is that?”

“You were supposed to wait for my text! She’s just a friend,” he tells me, as he pushes me out into the hall and he closes the door behind him.

“Who the hell has friends without pants?” I can feel bile rising in my throat. This can’t be real. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Tash, we have a part time relationship. I only see you on weekends. What did you expect?” He says smugly.

“What the hell?! I love you. You are supposed to be moving in with me,” my voice quivers.

“About that, it won’t work. Obviously. Tasha, we are different people, there are holiday people and there are normal people, and you are a holiday person,” he states. I’m confused, but I’m angry because this can’t be happening.

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