Page 23 of Secret Triplets for Christmas

I swallowed. The longer I sat here with him, the greater my guilt grew about my secret, the harder it was to justify my decision to keep him in the dark. Then again, he could be in danger. He was a closer link to Liam than I was. Surely, he would be the next target now that he was back in town.

“I just don’t want you to give up your life out of a sense of duty. Not to me, anyway.”

“It’s not to you.” His words were clipped, and I felt them like tiny daggers in my chest. “It’s for Liam.”

Frustration boiled over. “Liam and I were done when he was killed. I hate to say this because I don’t want to hurt you, but I didn’t love him anymore by then.”My love had been replaced by a love for you.

“I know that, but like I said, I’m here for Liam. I want to know the truth. The truth about who killed him and what’s going on now. And maybe you didn’t love him anymore, but I sure as hell know he loved you. That’s why what we did—” He bit off his statement, his jaw tightened.

I looked down, hating his regret for that night five years ago. God, if he knew what came of that night, that he got the woman Liam loved pregnant, the regret and guilt would be even greater. It was another reason to keep the secret, right?

“If seeing me brings up all your regret, then you should go, Oliver.”

“Judging by how hard you’re trying to get rid of me, I’d say you’ve got some regrets too.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t regret that night. Even without the girls, I wouldn’t regret that night. But especially since that night created my three little angels, there was no way I’d regret it. “I hate the idea that you look at me and wish you’d never been there that night.”

“That’s the problem, Lindsay. I might regret betraying my brother, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

My breath hitched.

He let out a frustrated growl. “The point is, I’m staying whether you want me or not.”

I didn’t respond, knowing he’d made his decision.

We finished our coffee in silence, the tension between us palpable. My mind was racing about what he meant by saying he’d do it again. Had I made a mistake by letting him go? Would things be different now if I had just told him the truth all those years ago? Should I tell him the truth now?

I quickly dismissed that idea. Maybe back then, things could have been different, but not now. He didn’t feel anything for me now except a duty to Liam. That was what he said. So no, I had to keep the secret. But his intention to stay filled me with worry. What would I do if he discovered the truth about our daughters?

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” I rose from my chair. “It was good seeing you again, Oliver.”

He stood too. His expression seemed to be filled with emotion but I couldn’t read it. “You too, Lindsay. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

I nodded and turned away. I stopped for a moment when I stepped outside, the cold air whipping me in the face like a slap. Like a punishment. But I’d come too far to turn back now. The past was gone. That was why he’d left. To escape. He was back now only because of Liam. Once this situation was over, he’d leave Boston and go back to the place where he could escape the pain of his past.

8

Oliver

Fuck, fuck, fuck. If I weren’t in a public place, I’d have thrown my latte across the room. I’d totally fucked up with Lindsay. All because I was pissed off—no, hurt—that she didn’t want me around. Of course she didn’t. Why would she?

God, I hoped she didn’t read too much in my statement that I’d have fucked her again. I only said it because she looked hurt that I regretted it. Ugh! Fuck.

I paid our bill and headed out into the cold. “Fuck,” I murmured under my breath as the chill seeped in straight to my bones. California had made me soft. Maybe I should go home. I wasn’t needed here. Lindsay didn’t want me here. The cops didn’t think I needed to be here.

Then again, Detective Riker asked about the old neighborhood. If there were a chance to finally find out who killed Liam, I had to stay.

I returned to my hotel, grabbing dinner from room service and then turning on the TV, planning to do something mindless to stop my brain from spinning. Unfortunately for me, Lindsay filled every space in my synapses.

If seeing me brings up all your regret, then you should go, Oliver. I hate the idea that you look at me and wish you’d never been there that night.

There was regret, but heaven help me, I never wished that I hadn’t been there that night. It had been wrong. She was Liam’s love. She was scared and hurting. Worse, I couldn’t stop the feeling that I’d taken advantage of her when she was vulnerable. But the truth was that I’d needed her as much as she’d needed me that night.

I’d never forget the sound of her screams waking me. I was sure someone was in the house. I ran to her, ready to rip the head off whoever was attacking her.

But it had been a nightmare. A nightmare she had because of my brother and his terrible choices.

I rested my head back on the couch, closing my eyes as the memory of that night, bittersweet and so fucking sad, came back to me.

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