Page 14 of How to Lose a Lass

"Yeah, in Afghanistan."

"I had a feeling you must have seen combat. The men I know who were in the military have the same sort of reticence about their pasts."

Am I reticent? Well, I guess I must be. Never considered the possibility. But talking about my past isn't my favorite thing to do.

Jamie rests her cheek on my arm. "It's all right if you don't want to discuss it. We just met, so you have no reason to trust me with your secrets."

"What makes you think I have secrets?"

She smiles, and her cheeks dimple. "It's dead obvious, Gavin."

"Right. It would be. I'm good at being stoic, but hiding things never works out for me. I guess that's why my ex-wife left me." I stop dead, staring at empty space, as a chill sweeps over me. Why in the hell did I blurt that out? I guess that's why my ex-wife left me. I couldn't have sounded more pathetic if I'd started crying. "Uh, sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Just came out. Kinda ruins my image, doesn't it?"

"Oh, tosh." Jamie turns toward me, though she keeps holding my hand. "Having a painful past doesn't make you less of a man. My brother Lachlan used to think the same way, but Erica helped him move past all of that rubbish. Everyone knows his ex-wife was a rotten cow. Rory's first wife was that way too."

"Really? Huh. I kind of assumed all your brothers were like Aidan, annoyingly happy and good with the ladies."

"Aye, Aidan is a sweet man. But even he had some issues. I shouldn't share that with you, though, since it's Aidan's story, not mine."

"I get that." I realize something she just said, and it triggers my curiosity. "Rory's first wife? How many does he have?"

"Three ex-wives. He needs to find a good woman, but he's too afraid to step into the romance waters again."

I smirk. "He's probably worried a giant shark will eat him."

"So now lasses are sharks?" Jamie wags a finger at me and tsks. "Dinnae be a sexist, Gavin. I won't let you kiss me if you do."

Did she just suggest she might let me kiss her? Sounded that way. Damn, I want to kiss her so badly that I can almost taste it. I'd love to taste her, for sure. But I know she was joking.

I clasp her hand. "Let's keep walking while I tell you a little bit about me."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. But I'd like to tell you, if you're comfortable with that."

"Of course."

We start ambling again, which is something I can honestly say I've never done before. Walking, sure. Hiking too. But never ambling. It feels good to be with someone who has no preconceived expectations and just wants to spend time with me.

Might as well dive into the shark-infested waters. "Before I can tell you about my ex-wife, Leanne, you need to understand what happened before my parents died. Calli is eight years younger than me, but she wound up taking care of me. That was later on, though. First, you should know that I joined the Marines straight out of high school, though I never imagined I'd wind up in combat. I wanted to serve my country, that was all. But I wound up getting deployed to Afghanistan."

Jamie holds my hand more firmly, but she doesn't speak.

"I, um, met Leanne..." My voice trails off, and I can't seem to convince my brain to let me say anything else. Memories of Afghanistan replay in my mind, showing me all the horrors in vivid detail. I stop walking and shut my eyes. "Can't talk about this. I'm sorry, Jamie."

"No need to be sorry. We hardly know each other, so it's none of my concern."

"Maybe we should go back to the house. I'm feeling wiped out all of a sudden."

Jamie doesn't complain or ask any questions. She just leads me back to the house. The puppies have even stopped bouncing around, like they can sense I'm not in a playful mood. I shouldn't get this way every time somebody mentions my military service, but I can't help it.

We walk back to the house faster than we had ambled away from it. That's not because Jamie wants to speed up. Once we reach the yard fence, I open the gate to let the puppies in, then shut it as Misty and Mandy race through the dog door into the house.

I grasp Jamie's upper arms. "Sorry about the sudden end to our nice little walk."

"No worries. I understand why you don't like to talk about your time in the Marines. I told you I have relatives and friends who have gone through similar things."

She's so damn sweet and empathetic that I need to make sure she understands. "I'm messed up, Jamie, and it's because of more than my military service or the fact that my marriage fell apart. My parents died five years ago, and I didn't handle it well. We just met, and I don't want you to get dragged down into my shit."

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